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CRAZY HOT MATRIX (Filipina Edition)

πŸ“… 2020-09-08⏱ 11:35
πŸ“… 2020-09-08 Β |Β  ⏱️ 11:35 Β |Β  πŸ‘οΈ 112.8K views Β |Β  πŸ‘ 10K likes Β |Β  πŸ’¬ 2K comments

Pea delivers a comedy-driven take on the internet's "Crazy Hot Matrix" meme, fully customized for the Philippines dating scene. She builds two complete graphs β€” one rating Filipinas on a jealousy-vs-attractiveness scale, and a second flipping the script to show how Filipinas evaluate foreign men using the "Depth of Pocket, Size of Rocket" chart. The humor is layered with real observations about jealousy in Filipino relationships and the financial dynamics of cross-cultural dating.

What's Covered ​

  • The Filipina Crazy Hot Matrix setup

    • Pea redefines the Y-axis as "crazy jealous" instead of just crazy, because with Filipinas it's always jealousy that ruins everything
    • She introduces the "JLC" β€” Jealousy Coefficient β€” calculated by counting jealousy displays in one week and multiplying by two
    • Example: if your Filipina warned another woman to stop chatting with you, went nuts when you smiled at the Watson's cashier, and pulled a hunger strike outside your door because you forgot your nine-day anniversary, that's 3 Γ— 2 = 6, which she says is "pretty low for a Filipina"
    • The Y-axis starts at 4 because "there's no such thing as a Filipina who's less than a four crazy jealous"
  • The X-axis: "Hot" means relationship attractiveness, not just looks

    • Rated 1–10 as guys normally rate attractiveness
    • But it's not purely physical β€” a woman could be missing a front tooth (knocks her down) but have a stable job (shoots her back up because she won't be constantly hitting you up for money)
  • The Crazy Hot Line and the zones

    • The diagonal line divides the graph β€” you never want to date above this line because you'd be getting more jealousy than attractiveness, which is a bad deal
    • No Go Zone: everything above the line β€” not worth the risk
    • Danger Zone: upper corner β€” incredibly hot but the jealousy could put your life in danger; these are women who will slash your tires or have their 12 cousins show up at your door with baseball bats
    • Fun Zone: below the line, hot score 1–8 β€” enjoy the company, have a good time, but be honest about your intentions
    • Date Zone: hot above 8, crazy above 7 β€” worth dating seriously while you assess further
  • The Filipina Particle problem

    • Pea compares Filipinas to quantum particles β€” they can disappear from one position on the chart and reappear in another
    • Example: one minute she's in the date zone, then you find out she's pregnant with her cousin's baby and she pops up into the danger zone
    • The higher the crazy coefficient, the more rapid the movement β€” you need to observe where she most often lands before assigning a final value
  • The Wife Zone

    • Crazy score 5–7, hot score above 8
    • Pea says women in this zone are incredibly hard to find β€” if you find one, go ring shopping because if you don't pull the trigger someone else will
  • The Unicorn

    • Crazy score below 5 but hotter than 8
    • Pea references her earlier video on Filipino myths and legends β€” says the unicorn is the one she didn't mention
    • Claims she's heard they exist but has never witnessed one; if you find one, don't spook her, just try to capture her heart and bring her to Pea's "testing facility" for authentication
  • Below the Unicorn: the trap

    • Some guys claim to have found a Filipina with a crazy jealous score below 4 but super hot
    • Pea says this is "quite impossible" and what you've found is actually a man
    • She introduces the "Dundee Field Test" β€” a physical verification procedure you need advance permission for; 97% of the time permission is granted and 72% of the time it's actually requested by the test subject
  • The Cute Rich Foreigner Matrix (the Filipina's version)

    • Pea flips the script: "Don't think I'm gonna let you foreigners off the hook"
    • Y-axis: "Cute" β€” determined visually by number of chins, thread count on top of the head, and proportions of other attributes
    • X-axis: "Rich" β€” also called the "Treasure Measure," a total of liquid assets; the graph is also known as the "Depth of Pocket, Size of Rocket" chart
    • Only three zones, much simpler:
      • No Go Zone (very large): the man has neither looks nor money
      • Husband Zone: once you cross a certain money threshold, it becomes irrelevant what you look like β€” she will attempt to marry you anyway
      • Fun Zone: not enough money but you're so cute she'll date you anyway until she finds someone in the Husband Zone

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