CULTURE SHOCK! | (Moving To The WEST from the PHILIPPINES!)

Pea draws from her own experience relocating to the West to walk Filipinas (and their foreign partners) through the most common sources of culture shock. She covers everything from the eerie quiet of Western neighborhoods to the unwritten social rules around borrowing, punctuality, and conversation — offering practical advice on what to expect, what to avoid, and how personality and background determine how rough the transition will be.

What's Covered ​

• Three factors that determine how intense your culture shock will be

  • Language ability: even if your English is decent, you'll hit phrases, slang, and cultural references that make you feel inadequate — study the native language of the destination country as much as possible beforehand
  • Background: a big-city Filipina comfortable with technology will adapt faster than a province girl whose biggest daily adventure is walking three kilometers to buy salt at the nearest sari-sari store
  • Personality: gregarious people who like trying new things transition much easier than "Bilbo Baggins types" who prefer to stay home and eye every stranger with suspicion

• The easy-to-love differences (things that won't cause stress)

  • Everything is clean and modern — you don't have to watch your step for random pipes sticking out of pavement or surprise steps that trip you
  • No armed guards on every street corner or in every store aisle; stores actually trust you not to steal; you can carry a bag from one store into another without checking it in
  • Lines are short and fast-moving — Westerners complain about lines, but compared to the Philippines there's barely any wait; however, do NOT cut in line the way Filipinos do here, because someone will confront you verbally and possibly physically
  • The quiet: neighborhoods can be so silent you'll think you survived a zombie apocalypse; Westerners consider peace and quiet a right — no blaring sidewalk music, no loud grocery store speakers; if your dogs bark in the yard, expect an angry neighbor call or a visit from animal control
  • The staggering variety of food: once you try real Italian spaghetti, a juicy tender steak, or crab legs as big as your arm, you'll realize what you've been missing — even if many Filipinos are timid about eating beyond rice, pork, and chicken

• The household technology overload

  • Western homes can feel like being transported 100 years into the future — electric can openers, trash compactors, robot vacuum cleaners that zip around like Star Wars droids
  • Pea describes one home controlled entirely by Alexa: temperature, TV, everything voice-activated — she jokes that if they put Alexa into a robot body and upgraded her software, "we Filipinas might be out of a job"
  • She says she "didn't like Alexa" but admits that once you get past the learning curve, the gadgets free up leisure time
  • Not all homes are high-tech, but you should prepare for the adjustment

• Western wastefulness will shock you

  • People throw away leftover food just because they couldn't finish it the first time; shoes get tossed for being slightly worn
  • Pea jokes you could make a living rummaging through their garbage, but warns you'd be called a "dumpster diver" — a term to avoid
  • Advises not to make a fuss over the last square of toilet paper stuck to the roll

• Social interactions — where the real culture shock hits

  • Westerners are generally friendly and will go out of their way to talk to you and make you comfortable
  • They use sarcasm heavily — if something sounds outrageous, they probably don't mean it, so just smile or laugh
  • Topics that are OFF-LIMITS (the opposite of Filipino norms): don't ask couples why they have no children, don't ask someone's salary, don't ask about their politics or religion
  • Topics that are OPEN (the opposite of Filipino norms): sex and public displays of affection are common conversation — prepare to be embarrassed often
  • You're expected to join conversations even if your language skills are shaky — Westerners will forgive bad grammar and funny pronunciations and think it's cute

• No hierarchy titles and children who talk back

  • No ate, kuya, or po to signify status — older people usually prefer and often insist on being called by their first names
  • Western societies are built on the belief that all people should be treated equally
  • Children are encouraged to join adult conversations and voice their own opinions, unlike in Filipino culture where kids get sent to another room when guests arrive
  • The way Western kids interact with parents will seem disrespectful to you, but it's their way of teaching independence and critical thinking

• Always say please and thank you

  • Unlike Filipino culture where gratitude is implied, Westerners expect explicit thanks for everything — someone opens a door, hands you water, gives a compliment, or lends you money, say thank you
  • Giving a blank look after receiving something is considered extremely rude
  • "Borrow" and "lend" mean exactly that — you're actually expected to return what you borrow or pay it back; failure to do so will destroy your reputation quickly

• The biggest adjustment: speed of life

  • Westerners work hard and play hard and don't easily tolerate incompetence or laziness — intimidating when you come from a more relaxed society
  • There is absolutely no such thing as "Filipino time" — if you say 2:30, be there by 2:45 at the latest or they'll leave and consider you unreliable
  • Time is money: making a Westerner wait wastes their resources; tell a Filipino he has to sit in a chair for three hours at the phone company and he'll shrug and sit down; tell a Westerner the same thing and "he'll look at you like you've lost your freaking mind"
  • Almost everything is done online or with a phone call — forcing them to wait will get a bad reaction
  • You'll feel like the world is zooming past while you stand still — like walking into class and realizing you forgot to study for the test being handed out

• The unexpected bright side

  • Without changing anything about yourself, you'll be seen as the most patient person Westerners have ever met
  • They'll marvel at your calm, your lack of complaints when frustrations arise — "you and I both know why that is, but don't spoil it for them — just let them think you're amazing"

• Pea's overall advice

  • Be prepared but don't be afraid; interact with your surroundings; don't shy away from new things
  • Do NOT isolate yourself by finding groups of Filipino immigrants and retreating into a comfortable cultural bubble — Westerners encourage assimilation and integration, and you'll miss out on a lot
  • Quotes her dad's definition of intelligence: "Smart people go through life with an open mind, absorbing ideas that are good, rejecting ideas that are bad, and always looking for a better way of thinking"
  • Acknowledges that the West has many good attitudes, customs, and institutions worth adopting, but also "a good bit of poison disguised as nectar" — it's up to you to figure out which is which
  • Guarantees: "You'll never be the same again"

• End-credits comedy bit

  • Pea acts out a newly-arrived Filipina horrified by Western wastefulness: rescuing a nearly-empty tube of something ("if I use pliers I can get another squirt"), salvaging a worn-out piece of clothing to sew into a scarf or cleaning rag, and picking meat off bones that Westerners consider finished — "now it can be thrown away"

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