WHAT DO FILIPINAS REALLY WANT? / Philippines Dating Tips

Pea brings together three young Filipinas — Fritzy (returning from a previous video, self-described future Miss Universe), Mika (aspiring journalist), and Angel (known for her singing voice) — in Dumaguete City for a panel discussion with questions submitted by Patreon members. This is Part 1 of a two-part series covering first impressions of foreigners, the "rich foreigner" assumption, interracial dating, skin color prejudice, tampo culture, age gap opinions, and how to properly approach a Filipina.

What's Covered ​

• How Filipinas describe foreigners in general

  • Mika: foreigners are very direct and to the point — Filipino culture involves stages of shyness and slowly opening up, but foreigners skip all that and say things like "hi, I think you're pretty," which catches Filipinas off guard ("what happened to hello?")
  • Angel: foreigners come across as confident, liberated, fun, and open-minded
  • Notes that Dumaguete specifically was listed in Forbes magazine in 2018 as one of the best places to retire, so the city has a large percentage of older expats; younger foreigners (18-21) tend to travel to more well-known tourist spots instead
  • Some foreigners come to Dumaguete for exchange programs at the local universities

• The "chismis" (gossip) about foreigner boyfriends/husbands

  • Mika says the word on the street is that marriages with foreigners are healthier than average Filipino marriages — foreigners are sweet, showy with affection (Valentine's cards, love letters), compared to the classic shy Filipino nature; Filipinas married to foreigners report feeling "very satisfied"
  • Fritzy confirms through a friend: foreign boyfriends make a real effort to keep their partners happy

• Do Filipinas assume all foreigners are rich?

  • Mika's logic: traveling is expensive, so if a foreigner can afford to come to the Philippines, they have money by Filipino standards — but they might not be considered rich in their own country; the Philippine peso exchange rate makes their money go much further here
  • Fritzy: she has foreign friends who consider themselves average or below average income at home, but by Philippine standards they'd be considered rich because of the different cost of living
  • Angel: has a friend who works as a 7-Eleven cashier in the States who saved up money to come to the Philippines and spends freely on friends — the peso-to-dollar exchange makes modest American savings feel like a lot

• Why foreigners come to the Philippines

  • Fritzy: the country is welcoming and hospitable — foreigners she's met say Filipinos make them feel at home; also great scenery, natural resources, relaxation, and it's cheap compared to other countries
  • Mika on whether they come for the women: "Yes, definitely" — the Philippines is known for delicious food "and our other delicacy may or may not be women"

• Have they dated a foreigner?

  • Fritzy: no — she chatted with one but friend-zoned him (Pea teases: "you friend-zoned him!")
  • Mika: no — she believes she's "not their type" because she has Eurocentric features despite being Filipino; when foreigners see her they think "there's like ten of you where I'm from," so they go for her more traditionally Filipina-looking friends instead
  • Angel: yes — rates the experience anywhere from 2 to 7 stars depending on the moment; foreigners were smart, adventurous, she made tons of memories meeting new people, they were confident and open-minded; the downside: "they're really busy so they don't have time for me" — and Filipinas are clingy
  • Mika elaborates on the clingy stereotype: Filipinas want to know where you are, what you're doing, who you're with, when you'll be home; her foreign friends have confirmed this pattern

• Open to dating a foreigner in the future?

  • Mika: yes, if there's a genuine connection — nationality doesn't matter, connection comes first
  • Fritzy: yes — "I'm all about the connection, the feelings" (gets visibly flustered/blushing during this answer, which the group teases her about)
  • Pea jokes: "book your orders now, guys"

• Were they ever pressured by family to date a foreigner?

  • Angel: YES — her mom literally said "you need to date a blond guy with blue eyes so my grandchildren will have blue eyes" and be "guapa/guapo" (handsome/pretty); Angel told her mom "it depends who I fall in love with"
  • Group consensus: Filipino-foreign mixed children are almost universally attractive — "I have never seen anybody with Filipina mixed genes who isn't attractive — it's like a sure formula"
  • Fritzy: yes, family members have suggested it — foreigners are considered attractive for their eyes, skin, "their aura, their whole"
  • Pea jokes about foreigners needing to "register their packages before coming" — "all shapes and sizes of packages are welcome, wrapped or unwrapped"

• How they feel about Black Americans specifically

  • Pea raises this because she gets asked "a million times" — when people say "foreigner" in the Philippines, they typically imagine white
  • Fritzy: first word that comes to mind is "cool"
  • Mika is honest about the prejudice among Filipino elders: her mother would likely say "no, because then my grandchildren will be very dark" — dark skin isn't welcomed in the Philippines despite Filipinos being naturally tan; white skin is glorified (evidenced by whitening products in every soap, lotion, and glutathione supplement)
  • Mika says she'd date a Black American specifically to break that stigma
  • On skin color preferences: Fritzy is morena and loves her skin the way it is; Mika avoids the sun not for color but to prevent aging; Angel avoids sun because of headaches and notes sunscreen is very expensive in the Philippines despite it being a tropical country — "it doesn't make sense"

• Do Filipinas date foreigners for financial reasons or is there real love?

  • Mika: some do, but that's true in any culture — finances are always part of relationships regardless of nationality; speaks for herself and pushes back hard on the stereotype: "not all of us are like that"; notes many Filipinas are hardworking and independent and will pay for your stuff or split the bill
  • Angel: has family members married to foreigners where there's genuine mutual love

• Are Filipinos materialistic?

  • Fritzy: no — would rather spend time at the beach making memories than getting material gifts; "memories are always better than material things"
  • Angel: "Filipinos love food — we appreciate food more than materials, we appreciate hugs more"

• What foreigners don't understand about Filipinas

  • Angel: language barriers — some Filipinas aren't fluent in English and foreigners sometimes expect them to be; but most Filipinos know some English, it's just accented or not perfectly fluent; Filipinas try very hard to be understood because they care about the relationship
  • Mika: "tampo" or "pangalo" — the Filipino concept where, after a misunderstanding, the upset partner storms out or gives the silent treatment but actually expects to be pursued and wooed; "when we walk out and say 'don't touch me,' it actually means touch me — do the opposite"; "get out" means "come closer, hug me"
  • Mika acknowledges tampo is childish sometimes but says "it's built in"
  • Fritzy: the texting/communication gap — if a foreigner says "I'm busy, can't text much today," that's fine for him but the Filipina feels ignored ("it's lunchtime already, why isn't he texting me to eat my lunch?")
  • The classic: "What's wrong?" "Nothing" — but there's definitely something

• Thoughts on mixed couples with a 20-year age gap

  • Mika: as long as the younger person is a consenting adult (18+), they're capable of making their own decisions; notes she's dating someone 10 years older and there IS culture shock — generational differences where they don't get each other's references
  • Angel: finds mixed-age couples cute, thinks they'll "make cute babies"
  • On whether it's always about financial security: Fritzy says financial security is a bonus but also important practically — "when a person only dates a guy for money and she is not happy, what is the point?"; group agrees money can't buy happiness

• Best way for a foreigner to approach a Filipina

  • Mika: meet at bars, parties, or through dating apps/websites — no stigma in meeting online in Dumaguete; when first talking to a Filipina, lead with respect ("hello, my name is..., you look really pretty"); also check if she's already with someone ("are you here with somebody?"); avoid the cringey zodiac sign pickup line
  • Fritzy: approach can be online or in person, but it must be respectful — there's a clear line between approaches that feel safe and ones that "creep us out"; don't rush things; if online, introduce yourself properly
  • Angel: don't be too forward — references memes about guys who skip hello and go straight to "you're so hot, send me pictures"; "what happened to hello, how are you?" — if you want someone genuine, be genuine yourself

• Fun rapid-fire segment at the end

  • If they saw an attractive guy showering naked through a fence: Mika would "linger to indulge then walk away really fast and pray — thank you Lord, I'm sorry"; Fritzy would "take her time, slowly but surely" (boyfriend or not); Angel says she'd walk away (acknowledges her boyfriend might be watching)
  • Would you slap your boyfriend for 50,000 pesos (~$1,000 USD) without ever telling him why? Angel would do it and take him to dinner after; Mika would kiss him immediately after the slap so it just seems like "another Tuesday"; Fritzy is ready — "where's my boyfriend?"
  • Would you eat a live cockroach for 25,000 pesos? Fritzy immediately: "Yes — I'm broke, I need money" without a second's hesitation

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