HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A LESBIAN / Is She Deceiving You?

Pea addresses a phenomenon she says affects more foreign men than they realize: Filipina "tomboys" (the Philippine term for lesbian or bisexual women) who enter fake heterosexual relationships with foreign men for various strategic reasons. She walks through why this happens, what red flags to look for, shares a real subscriber's story of being scammed this way, and advises men on what to do if they discover it.

What's Covered ​

• The term "tomboy" in Filipino culture

  • In the Philippines, "tomboy" means a woman who prefers other women — completely different from the Western meaning
  • Pea says this subculture exists "just beneath the surface" of Philippine society, often in plain sight
  • She emphasizes upfront that not all tomboys are deceptive, and she believes people should live naturally — but deception and manipulation are the focus of the video

• Why a lesbian Filipina would fake a straight relationship with a foreigner

  • Money/scamming: The most obvious reason — the financial temptation of extracting resources from foreign men is the same regardless of sexual orientation. Standard progression: chatting leads to buying phone load, then helping with bills, then escalating financial demands
  • Revenge against an ex-girlfriend: When a woman gets dumped by another woman, she'll sometimes date a man as an insult to her ex — as if to say "I was on the wrong team the whole time." The unwitting man is collateral damage
  • Catholic guilt: In a heavily Catholic country, there's enormous pressure to conform to heterosexual norms. She may attempt a "miraculous conversion" that won't last
  • Validation/ego: She wants to see what she's worth on the "open market" — sets up profiles on social media or dating sites to see how many men she can attract, with no intention of following through
  • Curiosity: She may have never been with a man and simply wants to try it — but she'll likely be a "one-hit wonder" who's unimpressed
  • Social status: Just claiming to date a foreigner triples a Filipina's social status. She may create a separate Facebook account showing photos of them together as a "portfolio" to impress the right people
  • Family acceptance: Family members who may have been suspicious about her orientation will be thrilled and stop asking questions
  • The "grand slam" — getting a mixed baby: The most despicable reason. A mixed-race baby simultaneously raises her status, gets her family off her back, pleases her mom, and secures child support from a foreigner. Pea calls this a "grand slam" and reiterates her standard advice to always use protection

• Red flags to watch for

  • Facebook deep-dive: Look for one really close female friend who appears in almost all her photos, with unusually mushy/affectionate comments between them. Don't assume it's just a cultural difference — in many cases, it's not
  • Mystery babies: Be suspicious if she's always holding "her cousin's baby" — make sure you actually see the cousin holding the child too
  • Wardrobe discrepancy: Compare how she dresses in photos she sends you (dressed up for your consumption) versus how she dresses on her social media with friends. Short hair, sunglasses, caps, and loose shirts might look like climate-appropriate clothing to a foreigner, but Filipinos recognize the signals
  • Masculine mannerisms: Combined with the wardrobe signs, this points toward being a "switch hitter"

• Real subscriber case study

  • A man got engaged to a Filipina he'd never met after a year of chatting online
  • He'd been sending money regularly
  • She became less interested in daily communication, stopped doing fun video chats, dressed differently, and hung out constantly with a female friend
  • He contacted Pea for advice; she told him what to look for
  • He found a separate Facebook account full of romantic photos of his fiancée with her girlfriend — plus a "baby of unknown origin"
  • After many denials and "crocodile tears," the woman confessed she just needed money and was probably scamming multiple men
  • After a month of deliberation, he broke things off completely

• Pea's advice if you discover the truth

  • Don't try to change her mind or "work things out"
  • Give her an "intentional walk right out of your life"
  • The psychological manipulation of these situations can mess with your head and empty your wallet
  • Tomboys as a group aren't any more dangerous than other risks in Filipino dating — there are good and bad ones — but awareness of the playbook protects you

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