WHAT DO OLDER FILIPINA WOMEN WANT? / Is Dating An Older Filipina A Better Deal?

Pea sits down with three single women in their forties from Dumaguete City — Sheila (43, self-employed, separated), Grace (44, single mom/nurse supervisor), and Ruth (44, nurse, widowed four years) — for a wide-ranging conversation about dating in your forties, feeling invisible to men, what they want in a partner, the foreigner-vs-local-guy divide, and whether they'd relocate to the West. These are educated, professionally accomplished women who've been through real life — separation, widowhood, single motherhood — and their answers reflect hard-won maturity.

What's Covered ​

• Backgrounds and education

  • Sheila: From the small municipality of San Jose, holds a Bachelor of Science in Commerce (Management), self-employed, separated
  • Grace: Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Saint Paul University, currently a nurse supervisor at a hospital, single mom of two girls (21 and nearly 5)
  • Ruth: BS Nursing graduate, works in a government office, widowed for four years and five months
  • Grace splits her time between city and rural areas

• How they've changed since their twenties

  • Ruth: Was happy-go-lucky at 20, only thought about herself; now maturity has given her completely different perspectives
  • Grace: Decision-making changed enormously; had her first child at 23, then waited 17 years before her second — notes that compared to today's teens giving birth at 14-16, she was relatively responsible
  • Sheila: At 20 you could do anything worry-free and depend on your parents; now it's all responsibilities
  • Pea adds her own take: "When I was a kid I can't wait to grow up — but it's a trap"

• Feeling invisible to men at 40+

  • Grace is the most candid: Sees younger women and thinks "I was like that, I was even sexier than that" — but acknowledges men, even those in their 50s and 60s, still go for the younger ones
  • Grace's frustration: Older women can take better care of men than younger ones can — "We are mature, we are capable of taking care of our kids, we are single or widowed — why not choose us?"
  • Grace admits she sits and ponders: "What do they have that we don't have?" and concludes it's simply youthfulness
  • Ruth: Feels invisible sometimes, visible other times — depends on the man's age and preference; men her age or older might notice her, but younger men won't
  • Sheila: Agrees it's harder to date at 43; sometimes she feels invisible, sometimes not — depends on who's around
  • All three confirm they are currently without partners

• Openness to a new long-term relationship

  • Ruth: Yes, if the person is mature and willing to accept her and her kids — "I did not close my doors"
  • Grace: Wants an equal partnership — he "must not be on top of me," it should be 50/50; pushes back on the biblical idea that women should be submissive: "Sorry to say guys, I'm not that kind of person"
  • Sheila: Open to it if the right person comes who respects her and accepts her children as his own — "It's a package deal"

• Sheila's separation dilemma

  • She's separated but not legally divorced (no divorce in the Philippines)
  • Hasn't seen her ex-husband in a long time but is still afraid he could cause legal trouble if she dates someone new — under Philippine law, a separated spouse can file a case against you
  • Has considered annulment many times but it's extremely expensive, takes years, and there's no guarantee it gets approved

• Importance of getting married vs. just living together

  • Ruth: Fine being a widow; a partner who understands her is a "bonus"; still open and hasn't closed doors — reveals she has a dream of a beach wedding and would want to get married again
  • Sheila: Marriage didn't work out the first time, but she's still not closing doors; just needs to get to know the person well first (and would need annulment to remarry)
  • All remain open to marriage rather than dismissing it

• Experience with and views on foreigners

  • Grace is the only one who has dated a foreigner — the relationship lasted four years and ended because of the pandemic
  • She would date another foreigner — "another race would do, like United Colors of Benetton" — as long as he speaks English
  • Ruth and Sheila have never dated foreigners but are both open to it: "Why not?"

• Biggest differences between foreign men and Filipino men

  • Grace (speaking from experience): Foreign men accept you regardless of being a single mom, your skin color, scars, financial status — "They're not into physical, they're more into intellectual understanding"
  • Foreign men are not judgmental; their families don't meddle
  • Filipino men are more focused on physical appearance and social status — families of Filipino men will say things like "Don't date her, she has kids, that's extra baggage"
  • Filipino men's families meddle in relationships regardless of the son's age
  • Ruth agrees completely: Foreigners don't care about your background, kids, or skin color — if they like you and you click, that's enough
  • Sheila also agrees: For Filipino men, having children is already a "turn-off"; foreigners don't care about that

• Would they live in the West?

  • Sheila: Yes, but would need to bring her kids — would consider it if she fell in love with a foreigner
  • Grace: "It's about time" — she's lived in the Philippines for 44 years; as a nurse she can work anywhere
  • Ruth: Would visit the West but prefers to stay in the Philippines permanently

• Where they'd want to live in the West

  • Grace: Canada
  • Ruth: New Zealand
  • Sheila: Australia ("because it's not that far")

• Is age a deal-breaker? Acceptable age gap?

  • Grace: No issue with age — an older man is caring, reminds you to eat healthy; then drops the memorable observation that foreign men in their 50s and 60s are "yummier" — "like wine, the older the better" — while Filipino men the same age get grumpy and lousy, perhaps from sun exposure and too much drinking
  • Ruth: Age doesn't matter; older men are more caring
  • Sheila: Prefers men in their 40s and above for maturity; younger men require too many adjustments

• The episode ends on a cliffhanger — Pea asks if they're more or less interested in sex than ten years ago and tells viewers to wait for Part 2

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