WANT A FILIPINA? LOOKING FOR A FILIPINA? Ask Filipino MEN First!

Pea interviews three young Filipino men — Gerald (a medical student), Paul, and Vaughn — about single motherhood in the Philippines, why Filipinos don't use birth control, and what foreigners should expect when visiting the country. The conversation is frank, funny, and surprisingly policy-focused, with Gerald in particular bringing a public health perspective on reproductive health education failures.

Why are there so many single mothers in the Philippines? ​

• Paul starts bluntly: "It's the shitty dads — the disappearing act"
• But Paul says it's deeper than just bad men — it's the system, specifically family planning and birth control
• People are too conservative/afraid to use condoms; if you're going to do the deed without taking responsibility for the consequences, you either use birth control or don't do it at all
• The men who do this tend to be immature and can't handle the responsibility of raising a child
• Paul directly addresses deadbeat dads: "You should be ashamed of yourselves"
• Vaughn adds that in the Philippines, being a single mom has been normalized ("it's not a big deal") when it actually should be a big deal given the overpopulation problem
• Filipino men are not well-oriented toward taking responsibility
• Paul makes a critical systemic comparison: in the U.S., child support enforcement is strict — you can go to jail for non-payment, which creates a strong incentive to use condoms. In the Philippines, child support laws exist but are barely enforced; men just leave and don't support their children
• Vaughn points to religious practice as another factor — the old tradition/church influence makes contraceptive use taboo

Why don't Filipinos use birth control? ​

• Gerald (the medical student) is passionate about this — says it boils down to education and government failure to disseminate information
• He wants to push for reproductive health; it's about more than just avoiding pregnancy — it prevents STDs too
• The government actually provides free condoms at local healthcare centers, but people (especially in remote areas) don't know this
• Gerald's point: people in remote provinces have little to do but have sex with their partners, which is fine — but doing it without birth control when you can barely feed yourself and ending up with 10-11 children is not okay
• Vaughn raises the accessibility/shame problem: contraceptives aren't on store shelves — they're kept behind the cashier counter, so you have to ask for them publicly
• When you do ask, other customers give you weird looks
• The neighborhood gossips ("the Marites") will talk about you to the whole community if they see you buying condoms or contraceptive pills
• The culture creates real social consequences for buying birth control
• Vaughn recalls news coverage of when the RH Bill (Reproductive Health Bill) was passed — older people accused the government of promoting sexual activity among children
• Paul's rebuttal: regardless of the older generation's mentality, young people are going to have sex anyway — the old tradition of treating all sex talk as sinful doesn't work in 2022
• Gerald emphasizes it's for safety purposes too — STDs are a real concern

Describe the Philippines for foreigners — good and bad ​

• Gerald (the good): tropical, beaches everywhere, coconuts, nice air, relaxing atmosphere — "the relaxing part, you won't look for it, it will look for you"
• Gerald (the bad): garbage — lots of it; government and NGOs are trying to control it but "don't be shocked"
• Paul (the good): "Pretty girls everywhere — I promise you, bro." Filipinos are very warm and approachable — "you'll say hi to me, I'll be like yo, what's up." Don't be afraid to talk to locals or ask for help. Delicious food. Good for business and good for fun. Lots of "buco juice" (coconut juice)
• Paul (the bad): you will see extreme poverty in certain areas and "it will wreck your heart if you have one" — which is why many foreigners try to help the less fortunate. Also, government services are a nightmare: "Good luck with your blood pressure" — they'll send you to one office, then another, then back to the first one. "We're mad about that too — you're not the only one"
• Vaughn (the good): lots of festivals with goodies to enjoy; Filipinos always wear their best smiles — "it's like contagious"
• Paul adds a message to foreign women specifically: "This is the perfect place to be in a bikini"

Should foreigners stay away or come on in? ​

• Paul: "Come! I promise you will love the Philippines so much you'd want to live here." He understands why Dumaguete is a top retirement destination — even Filipinos from other regions visit and want to stay. "Don't be shy, come in, enjoy, have fun with us — and hit me up"
• Gerald: "They can stay away, but once they come I don't think they will leave. It's like Hotel California. And if they leave, I'm sure they'll come back."
• Vaughn: "You're welcome here. We have so much to offer. Don't hesitate to mingle with us — we really love to speak and talk to other human beings."

Comedic outtake at the end ​

• Pea asks the guys if any of them would date her
• No one raises their hand
• Their roasts: "She's too obnoxious," "She's too bossy," "She's too loud"
• Paul then quietly admits: "She's my crush" — followed by awkward laughter
• They all scramble to move on to the next question

📺 Watch the full video on YouTube

🔔 Subscribe to The Filipina Pea