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CITY FILIPINAS / What Are City Girls Like?

πŸ“… 2021-12-21⏱ 19:59
πŸ“… 2021-12-21 Β |Β  ⏱️ 19:59 Β |Β  πŸ‘οΈ 83.6K views Β |Β  πŸ‘ 5.1K likes Β |Β  πŸ’¬ 1.2K comments

This is Part 2 of Pea's panel interview with three single city women from Dumaguete City β€” nursing student Cindy, HR personnel Melka, and YouTuber/accounting assistant Yam. The conversation shifts to deeper and more personal territory: who gets your loyalty when you're married (family or husband), whether they'd migrate abroad, body counts and exes, whether male friends secretly want to sleep with them, body insecurities, and whether they'd choose a funny man or a vulnerable one.

Loyalty: family or future husband? (The sinking boat question) ​

  • Pea frames it with a story: she asked her own mom "if a boat sinks and both I and Papa are drowning, who do you save?" β€” her mom said kids come first
  • Her mom then turned the question around: if your boyfriend and father are both drowning? Pea said she'd save her father because "we are just boyfriends and girlfriends"
  • But her mom corrected her bluntly: "If it's your husband, you have to really choose the husband because you are now creating a new family"
  • Melka gives the "smart answer" β€” whoever's physically closest, you save first, rather than agonizing over it
  • Cindy: once she finds a man who wants to settle, she'll prioritize him first and expects the same in return β€” "if I expect my husband to prioritize me, I'll do the same thing"
  • Yam: would choose her future mate because she's building her own family; compares it to leaving the bird's nest β€” "my parents raised me into the woman I am, and I think they'd be proud that I'm at that phase of my life"
  • All three ultimately agree: loyalty shifts to the husband once you're married, though they all emphasize they'd never stop caring for their parents

Migration aspirations ​

  • Cindy: migration is a "life plan" β€” always wanted to go abroad for better opportunities; targeting the US (specifically Washington state where she has family) or Canada; as a nursing student, she's frustrated that Filipino medical frontliners don't get the benefits or recognition they deserve
  • Yam: has discussed it extensively with her sister who's planning to work in Canada and would bring Yam and their parents; she jokes "someone in Canada right now, pick me up β€” adopt Yam, please!"
  • Melka: has always considered going abroad but not anytime soon; recognizes that workers abroad get compensated more fairly β€” "here, even if you're working twice as hard, you are not justly compensated"

Body count estimates for the average Filipina by age 25 ​

  • Cindy: 1-2 β€” because some Filipinas just date without sleeping with the guy, and some only "commit a mistake" once or twice
  • Yam: 6-8 β€” factors in party culture and what can happen after a night out; she acknowledges "that's just my guess"
  • Melka: she's shocked by Yam's answer ("wait, I can't absorb") but also says 6-8 based on her observation, though she adds a disclaimer she's not speaking for herself
  • Pea reacts to the higher estimates: "That's a big red flag" and "Wow, that's a lot"
  • Cindy attributes her lower estimate to her friend group being "very reserved, don't do parties"
  • Pea notes it depends on the environment and the people you're around

How many exes each has had ​

  • Yam: four, including "puppy loves" from high school β€” she counts from the moment you agree to be someone's girlfriend
  • Melka: only two β€” "I wasn't really into relationships" and wasn't exposed to much dating due to being raised in a very conservative, traditional family where she followed her parents' rules
  • Cindy: one ex, together for five years
    • Pea asks if she's still healing; Cindy says "the healing is impossible because we're still in contact"
    • They still communicate regularly, checking in on each other, but both have stayed single since the breakup

Do your male friends want to sleep with you? ​

  • Melka: she personally doesn't think so, but her girlfriends always assume otherwise β€” she has a kind personality that gets misinterpreted as flirting; during truth-or-dare games, male friends have confessed hidden feelings, but they never act on it; she concludes "they might have thoughts but they're not acting on it β€” but they're also men"
  • Yam: believes her male friends might want a relationship but not specifically to sleep with her; she thinks they wouldn't pursue it because "they've heard stories from me... about my experiences with other people"
  • Cindy: confidently says no β€” her guy friends are mutual friends from high school who've "witnessed my growth" (physical and mental/spiritual); she believes they've seen her "ugly face" and don't think about it
  • Pea pushes back on all three: "Guys would be guys, and I don't think they will always have the urge to spread their seed even though it's with their friends"
  • Pea warns about "Chads" β€” guys who hang around waiting for an opportunity to "insert themselves in the situation"; her advice: "Beware of Chads β€” don't go near Chads, believe me, you'll thank me later"

Body insecurities: what body part do you like least? ​

  • Yam: her height β€” she used to join beauty pageants and was always noticeably the shortest; being short means long gowns don't look as good
  • Melka: initially her height, but realized she's average (5'5"); actually most insecure about her teeth β€” she's had braces for seven years instead of one year because she kept eating hard food against her orthodontist's orders; Pea quips: "That's your longest relationship"
  • Cindy: her broad shoulders β€” she's short and the broad shoulders are easily noticed; she covers them with her hair
  • Pea turns the chest/body-shaming topic into a positive: "Even if I have a sunken chest, at least when I'm running it's not heavy β€” it's not going to bounce"
  • They joke about the advantages of small chests: nipple tape is easy, no bras needed, and in a zombie apocalypse "we will thrive β€” we will survive"

Funny man vs. vulnerable man? ​

  • Yam: man who makes her laugh β€” "sense of humor is everything to me"; agrees that "funny is the new sexy"
  • Melka: disagrees β€” she's dated funny men before and was attracted to them, but being funny is "just on a surface level"; she wants a man who can be vulnerable with her because "that means you're deep with this person"
  • Cindy: also chooses funny β€” ties humor to intelligence, calling it "really attractive, really sexy"; she identifies as sapiosexual (attracted to intelligence); says "the brain is the most sexy organ"
  • Cindy then amends her answer with a prayer: "Lord, please hear my prayer β€” I really want my man to have a good sense of humor but also be emotionally intelligent"
  • Pea's observation: "We women always want to have it all"

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