LOVE AFTER 30 / The Dating Scene In The Philippines

Pea sits down with her friend "Cheesy," a Filipina who just turned 30, for a wide-ranging conversation about dating in the Philippines as a woman over 30. Cheesy is unusually candid about her body count, her dating history with both local and foreign men, and the cultural pressure Filipinas face to settle down before they're "left over." The conversation covers dating apps, scam awareness, what Cheesy has learned from dating foreigners, sexual openness, and whether age really is a wall.

Dating apps — Pea and Cheesy both reject them ​

• Pea says she will never recommend a dating app — "the fact that you're paying for a subscription to talk to a woman is dropping the wrong way"
• Both agree Facebook is free and functions as a dating app anyway — join groups based on interests (arts, music), meet people organically
• Any app where you can meet people is effectively a dating app: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook groups
• Key rule: if you're chatting with a girl online, do NOT send money to someone you've never met in person

Scam awareness — red flags in online dating ​

• If a woman starts having problems and asking for money within a week or two of matching, she's almost certainly a scammer
• "She's not interested in a relationship — she's looking for someone who can help her out"
• Common excuses: "my phone's broken," "I have no load," "there's no signal"
• Some Filipinas receive money from multiple men on dating apps while having their own local boyfriend — "you have a full house already"
• A genuine Filipina won't ask for money before you've met in person — "unless you guys have met, that's a different story"

What Cheesy learned from dating foreigners ​

• Credits foreigners with making her open-minded — they have different perspectives on family, independence, and morality
• Learned the principle "if they're not hurting you, then you're not supposed to judge it" — describes this as "good karma"
• Was very religious before (church four times a week); foreigners showed her you can believe in God and be grateful without rigid religious routine
• Biggest lesson: independence at a young age — Americans leave home at 18-19, and if you're still at your parents' house at 24-25, people question it
• This inspired her: "If those Americans can do it working at McDonald's or Burger King, I can do it — I can even be a pump attendant"
• Pea clarifies for viewers with "perverted minds" that a pump attendant is a gas station job — in the Philippines they have attendants, unlike the self-service West
• Also learned that foreigners are more logical and open-minded, and that complaining about products and services (which Filipinos don't do) is how quality improves in the West — "that's how you learn, that's how you improve"
• Filipinos are "afraid of change" and don't complain, which she now sees as holding the country back
• Balanced view: also learned "it's not all puppies and rainbows" — there are bad foreigners everywhere, same as any nationality

Body count, honesty, and sexual history ​

• Cheesy has dated a lot and was directly asked her body count by her last ex — she told him the truth
• He "was not surprised" by the number
• She told him honestly that she dated many more people than she slept with — "it doesn't have to go down to sex at the end... I had great time dating decent guys — dinner, lunch, movies"
• Her standard: every time she had sex, she genuinely believed it was building toward a long-term relationship — "it wasn't just for fun, it was not a one-night stand"
• Bluntly notes she doesn't need a man for physical satisfaction: "honestly, I can satisfy myself, so I do not really have to cheat or go out for that"
• Believes in radical honesty with partners — "if you're not hiding anything, you expect the same amount of honesty from the person you're planning to spend the rest of your life with"

"Hitting the wall" and being a leftover at 30 ​

• Just turned 30 and sees younger friends getting married and having children
• Feels the cultural pressure — "am I supposed to just jump on a relationship just because I might end up being the leftover?"
• Refuses to be anyone's last option: "even if I'm the last female on earth, I do not want a guy to pick me just because I'm the last one... I'd rather be single"
• But she's not hopeless about it — argues that the pandemic made many men realize they were in the wrong relationships because they "cannot stand this woman 24/7," leading to divorces and breakups
• This means a new pool of men who now know what they actually want
• Her criteria for the next relationship: same level of emotional and mental maturity, both wanting to settle down at the same time — "you can meet the right person but at the wrong time"

Foreigners vs. local men as partners — and in the bedroom ​

• Cheesy says foreigners are better lovers, and the reason is freedom: "I can be me"
• Local Filipino boyfriends are conservative and controlling — she had one who wouldn't let her wear short shorts or show cleavage
• Foreign men are the opposite: "Wow babe, you're going out like this? You go!" — the confidence boost matters
• In the bedroom: foreigners' open-mindedness translates to creativity — "they get more creative"
• Pea references her previous video about sexual fantasies; Cheesy says she's talked to many people about their fantasies and is "down for it" if she's with someone — compares it to checking items off a bucket list together
• Wants a partner who is "as open-minded as me when it comes to that"
• Maintains that sexual openness doesn't sacrifice the genuine part of a relationship

Worst date ever ​

• Any man who skips pretense and immediately tries to bring her to a hotel room
• "Please do not pretend that you want to be with me or want to have a relationship when all you want is to get laid"

The anecdote about a connection that didn't work out ​

• Opens the video telling a story about meeting a guy she had great chemistry with — they traveled together, visited lakes and waterfalls, she introduced him to friends
• It was long-distance because he had to go home, so they parted amicably
• They're still friends; she told him "if I'm still single and you come back, we can hang out"
• Uses this to encourage men: "please do not get scared of approaching a woman — we don't bite... hard"
• Advice: wear your nicest smile, be polite and presentable — "we're not snobs, if you smile at us we will smile back"

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