📅 2022-05-10 | ⏱️ 17:27 | 👁️ 1.9M views | 👍 49.2K likes | 💬 4.1K comments
Pea answers viewer mail about confusing Filipina behavior, covering four distinct questions from foreign men navigating relationships. The topics range from a woman who effectively moved in after one night together, to a girlfriend who only ate rice at an expensive buffet, to a long-distance relationship showing warning signs, to the mystery of why Filipinas hold a man's genitals while he sleeps. Pea brings her characteristic bluntness and insider knowledge to each answer.
Question 1 — Jeff H ("Sleepless in Cebu"): "She spent the night and now she won't leave"
- Jeff met a girl who spent the night, which turned into a weekend, and now she's in the other room watching TV with no signs of leaving; she even bought clothes at a store during lunch
- Pea calls this "an adoption" — unlike Western adoptions with paperwork and social workers, a Filipino adoption can happen lightning fast and so subtly you don't realize it
- The woman's motives can include: forcibly inserting herself into his life to make sure he's not seeing someone else, or simply really liking being with him
- In her mind, as long as they're physically together they're "together" — going home means something is wrong, that she "didn't make the cut," and she'll be devastated when asked to leave
- Western women are more tied to their own spaces and lives; Filipinas can switch living situations "at the drop of a hat" if the new one is better
- It's not just girlfriends — friends and family use the same "blitzkrieg adoption tactic"
- Example: Your Filipino partner asks if her cousin can visit for "a few days" — you confirm arrival/departure dates — but to Filipinos, dates and schedules are "just suggestions and time is meaningless"
- A week later, the cousin is still on your couch, and it turns out he doesn't exactly have a job — he's "on call in case his dad needs help with the coconut harvest"
- Pea's advice: Lay down boundaries and stick to them; explain you like your privacy but still enjoy her company; tell her to go home but soften the blow by making a date for later
- She notes this isn't an exaggeration — she's known foreign guys who had to literally call a taxi and stuff a woman into it to get their apartment back
- Her final advice: "The next time you want to take a Filipina back to your place, have the talk in advance instead of texting me while hiding in your bathroom"
Question 2 — Bobby G: "She only ate rice and tiny fish at an expensive buffet"
- Bobby took his long-distance girlfriend to a fancy international buffet for their first in-person date; she came back with a giant pile of white rice and a small pile of tiny fish with heads still on, ignoring steak, lamb, seafood, and everything else
- Pea explains most Filipinas aren't adventurous, even with food — "we like what we know and we tend to stick with it"
- Depending on her background, rice and fish may be literally all she recognized at the buffet
- Filipinos never waste food, so she may have been afraid to put something on her plate she couldn't stomach — and worried about what Bobby would think if she had to spit something out
- She's also not great at expressing her motivations in English, so "rice really hit my hungry spot" was the easiest explanation, and she's hoping Bobby will just drop it
- Pea's upside: "You'll save a whole lot of money on food, and she might surprise you by being adventurous in other areas"
- Her blunt alternative: "Or maybe your girlfriend is just a total dud that needs to be returned to the Filipino service center for immediate repair or replacement"
Question 3 — Dog B: "My LDR Filipina is pulling away after 2.5 years"
- Dog has been in an online relationship for 2.5 years — they texted 20 times a day, video called at all hours (including intimate video chats), he got to know her family, her son calls him "Dad," and she never asked for money (though he sent some voluntarily)
- Recently she's lost interest in communicating and always has excuses not to chat; she insists nothing has changed but he can tell something is different
- Pea says this is "a really bad sign" and walks through her reasoning:
- Things are always hottest at the beginning of a relationship and simmer down — but with a Filipina, that rule goes "right out the window until she actually has you"
- A Filipina who's interested will launch a "sustained campaign of communication bombardment" until the man is firmly in her grasp — so reduced interest is a major red flag
- The fact that he's talked to her family or that her son calls him "Dad" is "virtually meaningless" for figuring out what's really going on
- Many women encourage their children to bond with the foreigner as "an added measure of heart string pulling to soften your emotions and keep you in play"
- Her family will "probably support anything she wants them to, even if it means overlooking their daughter's deceptions"
- Pea's specific advice:
- Tell her she doesn't seem invested and you're going to give her space to figure things out
- Stop initiating contact — let her be the one to reach out
- Don't be angry or appear to pout — just be casual and see what happens
- "Filipinas hate space and they always assume that someone else is filling it" — so this tactic will reveal her true interest level
- Stop sending money — you can't know what she's really after as long as there's a financial component
- "There's a reason for the saying 'no money no honey' — cut off the flow of bugs and see if she cuts off the flow of attention"
Question 4 — Tim C: "Why does my Filipina hold my junk while I sleep?"
Tim says Filipinas are generally timid and passive in the bedroom (the "starfish position"), but two different Filipinas he dated had the habit of holding his genitals while he fell asleep
Pea on the "passive in the bedroom" observation:
- There are daredevils and wallflowers in any culture
- Filipinas often let men take the lead, which may seem like inexperience — but given the number of single mothers in the Philippines, "you might want to rethink that"
- Their bedroom behavior is based on previous experiences, which are often limited to the basics — but this shouldn't be confused with being timid
- Filipinas thinking about dating foreigners are "already bracing for impact" because they watch Western movies/shows and know foreigners are more sexually open — "we just worry that the box might contain jello and power tools"
On the genital-holding behavior (which Pea has dubbed "lumberjacking"):
- It surprised Pea because "someone not naming any names" does the same thing
- She couldn't find any research on it, so she called every woman she knew and asked them directly
- "Of the friends I have left after asking them that question," several confirmed they do it too
- She's not sure if it's exclusively a Filipina thing or a broader woman thing
- Her best guess: it's related to security, something many Filipinas lack in daily life — "what could be more secure than holding the family jewels and the sack they come in"
- She adds: "just make sure there's not a butterfly knife in her other hand"
Pea closes by plugging her parents' house construction video coming on Friday, and encourages new viewers to go back through her older video library starting from the bottom of her channel page