12 THINGS NOT TO DO In The Philippines / Get Along With The Locals!

Pea delivers a practical survival guide for foreigners in the Philippines, explaining twelve specific behaviors that can get you deported, ostracized, or physically harmed. Each item goes beyond surface etiquette to explain the cultural psychology underneath — why Filipinos react the way they do to perceived disrespect, and what "saving face" and "defending honor" actually look like in practice. The advice ranges from the legal (stay out of politics) to the potentially lethal (don't humiliate a Filipino man in front of his family).

Stay out of politics ​

• The Philippine government takes a hard line on foreigners meddling in politics — this doesn't just mean joining protests, it includes social media posts and public complaints about the government
• Example: A tourism blogger named Nathan Allen came to promote tourism in Sorsogon, wrote critically about the unhelpful Board of Tourism, and was declared persona non grata (banned from the Philippines) — ironic since he came to help
• Actress Claire Danes was banned for unflattering comments about Manila
• Alec Baldwin was barred for a joke about ordering a "Filipina mail-order bride"
• Pea personally supports free speech but warns that criticism of the government or system, if reported to the Bureau of Immigration by an offended Filipino, can get an ordinary foreigner deported or blacklisted
• Key advice: never post anything on social media or the internet that could be used against you — it becomes a public record

Don't point with your finger ​

• Filipinos point with their lips (a kind of puckered gesture), not their fingers
• Pointing your finger at a person — especially someone you don't know, from a distance — is considered equivalent to aggressive staring and can be taken as starting a fight
• Especially sensitive in the Visayan region, where Pea has noticed this triggers stronger reactions
• Pea's mom corrected this behavior growing up: "You can't do that"

Don't complain loudly or publicly ​

• Foreigners tend to be vocal complainers; Pea admits she shares the impulse but her "standard of complaining" is already seen as harsh by Filipino standards
• A big guy with a booming voice being uptight in public is perceived as an attack on Filipinos personally
• Western "speak to the manager" mentality does not work in a developing country — it alienates people
• If you complain to someone with authority (like an immigration officer), you could be on the next flight home
• Advice: complain in private where no one can hear you; in public, "bottle it up, stay cool, breathe in, breathe out"

Ask about shoes before entering a house ​

• Filipinos walk barefoot inside their homes; wearing shoes indoors is bizarre and rude
• Pea recalls being shocked as a child watching Western movies where kids wore shoes on beds — her mom would have "killed her"
• When visiting your Filipina's family for the first time: watch what she does; if she removes shoes, follow suit
• Assuming you can walk in with shoes on is seen as impolite

Don't disrespect or belittle elders ​

• Filipinos care for elderly family members until death and revere them
• Giving snarky comments to an elder is like "kicking a beehive" — you'll have a thousand angry Filipinos after you
• Special honorific words: "po" and "opo" are polite particles used when addressing anyone older than you
• Even if you're older than your girlfriend's parents, you still use "po" and "opo" with them and call them "Mama" and "Papa" — never by their first names
• Calling elders by first name is a major sign of disrespect

Don't get in heated arguments with a Filipino ​

• This is the most dangerous item — connected to the Filipino concept of "saving face" and defending honor
• True story: a foreigner was tricked into buying a defective car from a Filipino; he went to the guy's house, yelled at him, and embarrassed him in front of his family
• By publicly humiliating the Filipino, the foreigner provoked a response rooted in clan honor — the Filipino felt he had to kill the foreigner to defend his reputation
• "There's this saying here: your clan versus my clan — you can start a war between clans, like War of the Roses"
• Advice: if something goes wrong, go through proper authorities; never put a Filipino in a position where he feels he must kill you to save face

Don't reject food ​

• Filipinos do not waste food; rejecting food at a gathering is deeply offensive
• References a 90 Day Fiancé episode where an American guy refused to try lechon (roast pig) and the family was furious — lechon is a centerpiece dish that represents significant expense
• Advice: tell your Filipina beforehand about allergies, dietary restrictions, or if you're vegan/vegetarian
• Even if the food looks unfamiliar, try a little bit to be polite

Don't crush hands in a handshake ​

• Firm Western handshakes are not the norm in the Philippines and can feel aggressive
• Filipinos are more accustomed to high-fives or simple "hi/hello" greetings
• Corporate Filipinos may shake hands but not as firmly as Westerners
• When meeting a Filipina's family, just say hi — no firm handshakes

Don't date married women ​

• References a previous video she did with a lawyer named Gracie on this topic
• Even if a Filipina says her husband has been "out of the picture" for 10-15 years, she may still be legally married since the Philippines has no divorce
• An angry ex-husband can extort you for money or physically harm you
• Protective measure: get it in writing (text, email) that she claims to be single — this protects you legally, though not from a violent ex
• "Do your due diligence — it's really not worth the trouble"

Don't get drunk in public ​

• Applies everywhere but especially dangerous in the Philippines
• Drunk foreigners get loose lips, loud voices, raw emotions — easy targets for conflict
• Filipino retaliation doesn't have a statute of limitations — if you have an argument at a bar, the person and his friends may follow you and wait in a dark alley when you stumble home at 2am
• Advice: keep drinking to a minimum, drink with friends for safety, don't be loud or confrontational

Don't sing "My Way" by Frank Sinatra at karaoke ​

• This is presented as a real phenomenon: people have been killed for singing this particular song at karaoke bars in the Philippines
• Karaoke bars are described as "one of the most dangerous places" in the Philippines
• Especially don't sing it off-key — "someone might be triggered to kill you"
• Pea acknowledges it sounds crazy but says it's verifiable online

Don't eat the last piece of food ​

• At Filipino gatherings, the last piece of food on a shared plate creates a "Mexican standoff" — everyone eyes it but nobody takes it
• Unlike in the West where someone would offer it around, in Filipino culture no one is "brave enough" to claim it
• The last piece typically gets taken home in a doggy bag (and despite the name, a person eats it, not a dog)
• Taking the last piece is seen as greedy

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