Polite Way of Telling Your GF To Shave - And Other Answers Revealed!

Pea answers viewer emails in a follow-up mailbag episode, tackling three situations: a man in Alabama whose otherwise perfect girlfriend has a mustache, a Canadian whose Filipina ghosted him after he funded her sari-sari store, and an American whose long-distance fiancée got a nose job without telling him. Each question gets Pea's trademark mix of humor, bluntness, and genuine advice.

Tim G. from Mobile, Alabama — "My girlfriend has a mustache. How do I tell her to shave?" ​

• Tim describes his girlfriend as "almost a unicorn" — sweet, smart, funny, gorgeous, slim, tan, long legs — but she has a noticeable dark mustache that her mom and sisters share
• He's afraid mentioning it will hurt her feelings and insult the other women in her family
• Pea's take: the girlfriend has probably had the mustache for decades and sees nothing wrong with it — the problem is Tim's preference, not a flaw she recognizes
• Pea suggests laser hair removal or waxing rather than shaving
• She then delivers a string of deliberately terrible example scripts for how to bring it up:
  • "I want to kiss you but I'm waiting for that caterpillar to move"
  • Referring to her mom as "ol' Hitler"
  • "If you want any bedroom action you gotta get rid of that face carpet"
  • "Have you ever tried not looking like Tom Selleck?"
• Pea ultimately admits she has no idea how to phrase it tactfully and asks Tim to write back with how it went, calling it a "hairy situation"

Colin V. from Montreal, Canada — "I funded her sari-sari store and she ghosted me" ​

• Colin's Filipina girlfriend texted and called multiple times daily for eight months, woke up at odd hours to say good night, made sure he ate properly, and showed interest in his daily life
• She couldn't find a job, so Colin sent her money to start a sari-sari store; she offered to pay him back but he doesn't expect it
• Since the store opened, she barely texts, leaves his messages unread for days, and sounds tired or bored on the rare calls; she claims she's just overworked
• Pea dismantles the "too busy" excuse with firsthand authority: She personally knows several people with sari-sari stores, has been to hundreds of them, and her own mom had one
  • They're usually a simple booth with a window and products on pegboards, run by one person
  • "Most of the day at the sari-sari store is spent wondering why all the customers seem to be going to the other 50 stores around you"
  • The owner mostly pauses games of Mobile Legends long enough to hand someone a bag of chips
  • "There's no way she's selling things so fast that she can't even say hello"
• Pea suspects (but can't confirm) the relationship was entirely virtual — no in-person meetings during those eight months of texting — which would violate her "Rule #1: don't send money to anyone you've never met"
• Her blunt read on the situation: The timing is suspicious — you give her financial independence and she vanishes. She's surprised the girlfriend didn't stick around to squeeze more money (emergency funds, store expansion)
• She bets there's another man involved, likely a foreigner: "A Filipina doesn't just walk away from a perfectly good milking cow unless there's an even bigger cow in her pasture"
• Pea's advice: keep communication channels open in case there's an innocent explanation — if there is, she'll come back to chatting. But if that chat includes money requests, tell her to use the profits from the store you already paid for

Philip C. from Milwaukee, Wisconsin — "My fiancée got a nose job without telling me" ​

• Philip and his Filipina met six years ago, lived together in the Philippines from 2016–2019, got engaged, then he returned to the U.S. for a long-distance relationship until he moves back permanently later in 2022
• During a video call, he saw bandages on her face — she'd gotten a rhinoplasty without telling him, calling it "a surprise for me"
• She always hated her flat nose; he loved how it suited her face and never suggested she change it
• When the bandages came off, he describes an "ugly pointy pinched looking nose" that makes her look like a different person
• He's angry she didn't consult him, suspicious someone else paid for it, and worried he won't be physically attracted to her anymore
• Pea breaks the problem into three separate issues:
  1. Who paid for it: She points out rhinoplasty has become very popular in the Philippines and prices have dropped to around $800 US, often payable in installments — so the girlfriend may well have funded it herself. Pea advises not to jump to conclusions about another man
  2. The appearance change: Her motives were probably harmless — she was trying to look more attractive, probably more for herself than for him. Pea challenges him: "Can you love her based on who she is instead of how she looks?" She draws a parallel — if they were already married and she got in an accident that disfigured her nose, he'd hopefully still be attracted to her
  3. Not being consulted: This is the legitimate grievance. Pea validates his frustration — it makes him wonder what else she might do without telling him. Her advice: tell her directly that you want to be included in future decisions, that you don't like those surprises, and then try to let it go
• Pea's personal opinion on cosmetic nose surgery: "Unless you have an odd number of nostrils, don't try to re-plumb your snot locker" — be happy with what you were born with, and anyone worth a damn will be too

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