10 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT FILIPINOS - What It's Like To Be Us

Pea walks through a collection of surprising cultural facts about daily life in the Philippines, aimed at foreigners considering a visit or move. She covers everything from the absence of video game culture and the country's universal crying style to the lack of jury trials, gasoline sold in Coke bottles, and the scarcity of fire hydrants outside major cities. Each fact is delivered with her signature humor and bluntness, illustrating just how different life in the Philippines can be from what Westerners expect.

Filipinos don't really play video games ​

• Some play mobile games and a few use PCs, but console gaming (Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo) is virtually nonexistent outside big cities
• There likely won't be a single game store in an entire provincial town
• You'd have to order games online, and if your internet is bad (like Pea's), forget about downloads or online play
• The irony: Filipinos can't afford game consoles but Apple stores are everywhere and always packed — she calls this "selected poverty"

All Filipinos cry exactly the same way ​

• Westerners each have unique crying styles — soft weeping, loud sobbing, hysterical wailing — because it comes "unfiltered from the heart"
• Filipinos apparently all cry in one identical, standardized way (she does an impression)
• She jokes that Filipinos must attend "crying school"
• She raises the philosophical question: if everyone sounds the same when they cry, is it really from the heart?

Filipinos don't plan schedules in advance ​

• An appointment book would be a useless gift for a Filipino
• A Westerner would say "I'll arrive May 7th at noon and leave the morning of the 14th" — a Filipino just says "I'll visit sometime next week"
• They might come early in the week, as late as Sunday, or not at all; might come alone or bring unannounced friends and family
• "Trying to pin down dates and times from a Filipino is like nailing jello to a tree"
• Departure time is never discussed because leaving isn't a "when," it's an "if"

Most Filipinos can't swim ​

• Despite the Philippines being 7,000+ islands, the vast majority of Filipinos cannot swim — "literally to save their lives"
• They wear jeans and t-shirts to stand near water rather than swimsuits
• After more than a century of Olympic competition, the Philippines has only a couple of notable swimming exceptions
• She quips: "As good as we are at singing, we're just as bad at swimming"

Getting water at a restaurant is a struggle ​

• Westerners expect a glass of ice water immediately after sitting down; in the Philippines, you'll often have to ask, sometimes beg, and possibly ask two or three times before water arrives
• It's not just water — there's a 50/50 chance any drink you order never makes it to the table
• Her explanation: "Filipinos don't seem to notice liquids unless they're alcoholic"

No jury trials in the Philippines ​

• Even for the most serious crimes including murder, there are no juries — a single judge hears your case and renders a verdict
• That one person decides whether to lock you up forever in a Filipino jail
• She raises the obvious concerns: What if the judge is in a bad mood? Good friends with opposing counsel? Just doesn't like your face?
• You can appeal a guilty verdict, but the appeal is also decided by one judge
• Her joke theory on why: "Maybe our wise founding fathers knew it'd be impossible to get 12 Filipinos to show up on time for a court case"

Gasoline is sold in Coke bottles ​

• If you run out of gas, you can walk to a petrol station and fill up literally any container — Coke bottles are common
• Filipinos don't understand Western rules about approved fuel containers
• She jokes about people essentially walking around with "Molotov cocktails"

Fire hydrants are scarce or nonfunctional ​

• Outside Manila and major cities, most towns don't have fire hydrants — the only water comes from whatever the fire truck can carry, which sometimes isn't enough
• Many existing hydrants are rusty and hard to find; they've finally started painting them yellow
• Don't expect the dramatic geyser-spraying fire response Westerners are used to — she recommends good fire insurance

"Bold" means porn in Filipino slang ​

• She has no idea why the word "bold" became sexual in Filipino culture, but it did
• Story: her brother borrowed her Netflix password, then her mom called asking why she subscribed to a pornography service — because Netflix movie descriptions say things like "bold action" and her mom thought half the catalog was porn
• Pea told her mom "yes, everyone who uses Netflix watches porn morning, noon, and night"
• She imagines her mom's reaction to Netflix titles like "The Banger Sisters," "Mr. Woodcock," and "Fire Down Below"

End skit: "Filipina Bot" IT support call ​

• A comedic bit framed as an IT help desk call about a malfunctioning "Filipina series" robot
• The "temper routine" activates when you look at another female bot
• The bot goes silent for hours — "that's what they're supposed to do"
• It takes cash from your wallet — "we can try disabling the scamming subroutine but that's usually hardwired into the newer models"
• The tech suggests trading in for a "Western model" — the "Karen 2023 is so cheap they're practically giving it away"

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