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2022-09-06 Β |Β β±οΈ 12:28 Β |Β ποΈ 99K views Β |Β π 7.7K likes Β |Β π¬ 2K comments
Pea takes on the "body count" double standard head-on, arguing that there are legitimate biological and mathematical reasons why a woman's sexual history matters more than a man's when it comes to long-term relationship success. She acknowledges this will anger feminists, walks through multiple frameworks for the argument, cites research data, and offers a theory for why the double standard exists β with a specific warning aimed at Filipinas who are newly exposed to dating apps.
The double standard framed: a sexually successful man is a "stud" while a woman with too many partners is considered "damaged goods" β
- Pea says she won't criticize anyone's personal choices, male or female
- But she argues that women need to understand that a high body count may reduce their chances for a successful marriage and compromise their ability to bond with a partner
- She adds this may affect Filipinas even more than Western women because Filipinas "tend to be a little less worldly or savvy when it comes to stuff in the muffin" β handing a Filipina a cell phone with a dating app full of thousands of willing men is "like handing a loaded gun to an emotional teenager"
The master key / faulty lock analogy β
- Women are the gatekeepers of sex β they almost always decide when it happens
- A key that opens many locks = a master key; a lock that opens for many keys = a faulty lock
- A man who sleeps with many women must have desirable traits; a woman who lets many men in is not demonstrating selectivity
- Pea frames it as perceived value: gold is more valuable than iron because it's harder to find
- A man has to work up courage, plan dates, invest multiple dates to get sex; a woman just has to say one word β "yes"
- Pea says she's only average looking but has no doubt she could get three guys in three days β "does that make me desirable? Nope. Special? Not hardly." But a man who can do that is either incredibly sexy or incredibly rich β "either way, he's high value"
Scientific evidence: casual sex rewires the brain β
- Citing the Medical Institute for Sexual Health: intercourse bonds two people chemically and physically, and an abundance of casual sex causes the brain to rewire so one-night stands become the new normal, making it harder to bond with one person
- Women with above-average partner counts tend to be less satisfied with current mates, making divorce more likely
- The "magic number" is 10 β women with more than 10 partners are at much higher risk of ending up alone
- Average partner counts by region: British women average 7, Texans average 9, Louisiana residents average 15
- Men don't seem affected to the same degree β excessive partners didn't diminish their happiness levels
Pea's theory: the comparison trap and hypergamy β
- As women accumulate more partners, they form an impossible composite image of the perfect man from the best traits of each previous partner β "we want the abs of Tyrone, the generosity of Chad, the emotional strength of Rocky"
- This makes them quick to notice where their current partner falls short
- This is connected to hypergamy: women don't go back down the ladder peacefully β "we only get pulled back down kicking and screaming when reality forces us to" as sexual market value decreases with age
- If a woman gets a chance to "cheat time" by jumping to a higher-value man, some will take it
- Key distinction: when men cheat, it's generally for sexual excitement and variety, not to replace their partner; when women cheat, they're often looking for a permanent upgrade
- This is why a man with many past partners can still happily settle down for a long marriage
The mathematical argument β
- If a woman has only one or two past partners, the odds you'll be her last are decent
- If she has 25 partners, the odds she'll stop at you β number 26 β are substantially lower
- When a woman you barely know sends you a nude photo, your second thought should be wondering how many other guys received it too
Practical reasons to investigate her past β
- Beyond bonding and divorce risk: you need to know about angry exes living nearby, children she's sent to live with relatives that she hasn't mentioned, and experiences that may have changed who she is
- Getting a woman's true "notch count" is nearly impossible β Pea compares the odds to "winning the lottery five days in a row without buying a ticket"
Direct advice to Filipinas β
- Unless you think you've found "the one," keep the gates closed
- You may have the right to enjoy casual sex, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do β you might pay for it later in unexpected ways
- The irony: women who think casual sex will attract a man may find it does the opposite in the long run
- "If you show that you have value, you create value"
Comedy skit at the end: Pea plays both sides of a conversation where a man tries to get a Filipina's body count β
- The Filipina dodges by interpreting "how many people have you slept with" literally β "We sleep with five or six family members in one bed"
- Deflects further with "I have a big family... I'm pretty much related to everyone in town"
- Pivots to "isn't the human race just one big family?"
- When finally cornered, responds "Oh, that's ridiculous β you think just because my goose is a little loose that I can't bond with you? Come on, James" β then immediately gets his name wrong ("My name is Robert"), proving the point
- Moves on to the next man: "Hey James... you know how I feel about you, right? I really think you're the one."