STARTING OVER IN THE PHILIPPINES - A Filipina Widowed at 41

Pea interviews Sharon Cavalier, a 41-year-old widow from Lapu-Lapu City, Cebu, whose life story touches on abandonment, long-distance love, loyalty, family betrayal, and starting over. Sharon also discusses her own YouTube channel and shares practical advice for foreigners about verifying a Filipina's marital status.

Sharon's first foreign relationship and abandoned daughter ​

• Sharon met a Belgian man and got pregnant in 2006 when he visited the Philippines
• After he returned to Belgium, he told her to get an abortion — she refused: "I am not a crazy and stupid mother and woman to kill my own baby"
• She also points out abortion is illegal in the Philippines as a Catholic country
• She cut off communication with him for a week out of anger that he'd want to "kill his own baby"
• He sent money until her daughter was about 1 year and 2 months old, then stopped entirely — never came back, no more contact
• Sharon was devastated, crying every night, but went to church and decided God must have another plan for her

Meeting her late husband online ​

• After waiting years for her daughter's father to reconnect (he never did), Sharon made an account on Filipino Cupid
• The first man who messaged her was also from Belgium — she immediately said "no, no baby, Belgian"
• He convinced her to give him a chance: "Not all the men in Belgium are the same. What if we try to communicate as friends?"
• They communicated online for a full year before meeting in person
• She was shocked when he got serious quickly — he asked her to bring her parents to an internet cafe so he could ask for her hand in marriage via video call
• Her parents agreed, with the condition that he take care of Sharon and her daughter — he accepted her daughter and "treated her like his own"

The marriage and six-year LDR ​

• 2010: met online; 2011: met in person (he stayed one month); 2013: he returned for 45 days and they married
• After the wedding, he went back to Belgium to work and build a business so he could eventually bring Sharon and her daughter over
• He also needed to care for his elderly mother — as the only son, he felt obligated
• Sharon, showing her Filipino family values, told him: "It's okay, we prioritize your mother because you are the only son. Don't worry about me, I am very patiently waiting"
• They Skyped every day for six years — Sharon emphasizes how hard it was sleeping alone, wanting her husband there, but she remained faithful throughout

His death and the aftermath ​

• Her husband died July 26, 2020 — they never got to live together permanently
• After his death, Sharon and her daughter had to leave their rented house and moved in with her aunt
• After about 10 months, the aunt kicked Sharon and her daughter out — Pea emphasizes this point about Filipino family dynamics: "Even if your family, if you don't have money or if they cannot benefit... you are just less"
• Sharon's response was defiant: "I will stand again with my own feet and I will show them that we are in a good life"
• She moved in temporarily with a niece in a small two-bedroom apartment
• Then received a call from her husband's lawyer — she had a share of his property (not a large percentage, but meaningful)
• Her husband had always told her: "You will have a better life. You and your daughter will not become poor again, because I know what people judge you when you were poor"
• She used the inheritance to buy a house — fulfilling his dream for her and her daughter

Sharon's outlook on finding love again ​

• Open to finding a new companion — "I don't want to grow old alone"
• Prefers a foreigner
• Qualities she wants: honest, faithful, loves her for who she is, accepts and loves her daughter, understanding, good communication, trust
• No age preference — "as long as he loves me and accepts my daughter"
• Her 15-year-old daughter understands and supports her mother's desire for a partner

Sharon's YouTube channel and advice for foreigners ​

• Channel name: "Sharon Lapu-Lapu" — started vlogging in July 2022
• Motivation: she heard about foreign men being scammed or unknowingly getting involved with married Filipinas, and wanted to help warn them based on her own experience
• She does street interviews with Filipinas, cooking videos, karaoke, and fashion shows
• Admits she's naturally shy and was very nervous doing her first interviews — "I was sweating a lot"
• Biggest challenge: finding older interview subjects (40s, 50s, 60s) — most women she encounters in public are very young (18-20). Pea confirms she gets the same request from subscribers and faces the same difficulty

Sharon's specific scam warning story ​

• Tells a story about a woman who had a foreign boyfriend — when the foreigner visited, they lived together
• The woman's Filipino live-in partner would come to the apartment, but she introduced him as her "brother"
• The foreigner trusted her and they all spent time together
• When the foreigner went back to Belgium, the "brother" and the woman resumed living together
• Someone tipped off the foreigner; he returned to the Philippines unannounced and caught them together

Sharon's practical advice: the CENOMAR ​

• Strongly advises all foreigners to ask their Filipina girlfriend to obtain a CENOMAR (Certificate of No Marriage) from the Philippine Statistics Office
• This document proves whether someone is single — if they're married, it will show up
• Any Filipino can request a CENOMAR at any time, even if they're not planning to get married
• Sharon frames this as essential due diligence: "For you to be sure that you will have no problem later on"

Pea's sidebar on the challenges of vlogging ​

• Relates to Sharon's struggles — Pea has been doing it for over two years with two videos per week and confirms it's exhausting
• Both agree it looks easy from the outside ("people think they're just sitting down and turning on the camera") but it's genuinely hard work
• Pea encourages Sharon by saying passion is the key, and she thinks Sharon has what it takes

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