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2022-11-08 Β |Β β±οΈ 14:10 Β |Β ποΈ 300K views Β |Β π 17K likes Β |Β π¬ 3.4K comments
Pea delivers a thorough defense and explanation of age-gap relationships in the Philippines, responding to negative comments she received on previous videos featuring a 50-year-old Filipina seeking a man over 70 and a married couple (John and Jessa) with a 38-year age gap. She dismantles the assumption that these relationships must be exploitative, explains why Filipino women are genuinely attracted to older men, and challenges Western viewers to question whether their disgust is cultural bias rather than moral reasoning.
What triggered this video: β
- Her earlier videos about John and Jessa (almost 40-year age gap) and a 50-year-old Filipina seeking a man over 70 drew mostly positive comments, but a vocal minority called the relationships "sick," labeled the men as predators, and the women as gold diggers
- Some commenters attacked Pea herself for "glorifying and promoting age gaps"
- Her rebuttal: she didn't glorify anything, she told their story β her channel is about Filipino culture and reality, whether or not it makes people uncomfortable
- Points out the hypocrisy: if John and Jessa's story had been a disaster (old sex maniac meets gold digger who bleeds him dry and monkey-branches to a rich young Canadian doctor), the same critics would have loved the video
- "I just follow the story wherever it leads... who's got the agenda? I just proved it ain't me"
The problem with "age gaps are disgusting" as an argument: β
- If you just say it's disgusting, that's an opinion you have every right to hold β like Pea thinks blue cheese is disgusting
- But "it makes me feel yucky" doesn't carry much weight as an argument
- If you claim age gaps are "objectively wrong or immoral," you've made a claim you need to defend
Dismantling the "she's not attracted to him" argument: β
- Most critics assume the woman can't possibly be attracted to her older partner
- Pea's counter: if two people are together based on mutual benefit, who cares if it's not about "having the tingles"?
- Do Western women only marry because they want to rip their husbands' clothes off? "If you think that, you've been brainwashed by the same blue pill Disney fantasy that got you guys into trouble in the first place"
- What's wrong with a woman choosing a man she thinks is a good match, even if he's not six feet tall, young, and rich? Not many women have that option in the Philippines
- As long as she's not being forced or mistreated, who is anyone to judge?
Why Filipinas ARE genuinely attracted to older foreign men: β
- "What we see when we look at you is not what you see when you look at yourselves"
- A man who never got attention back home because of a big nose, unusual face shape, or below-average height might be considered attractive in the Philippines
- The reverse is also true: Filipinas ignored by local men for being "too skinny" or "too dark" are exactly the ones foreigners are attracted to
- Pea's personal example: she was never a head-turner among local men, but once she encountered foreigners she started getting noticed β for the same features local guys passed her by for (slender build, brown skin)
- Many Filipinas "can't believe that foreigners think we're attractive and don't understand why you pick us over our lighter-skinned, prettier competition"
Why age specifically isn't a turnoff β and is often a positive: β
- "It might blow your mind, but most of us actually prefer some age on a man"
- Ask almost any Filipina: younger guys in their 20s or early 30s are seen as less mature and more likely to walk out
- The 50-year-old woman wanting a man over 70 gave her reason as: so he wouldn't leave her β younger Filipinas feel the same way
- Pea's ratio: for every five Filipinas who want a young guy, ten want an older man
- This sounds crazy to Westerners because in their culture "a woman in her prime would never even look at a guy in his 50s or 60s"
- Pea's frustration: "I get it, I understand that's your culture, but why can't you seem to understand mine, even after I explain it over and over?"
- Some viewers insist "all women are the same" and culture has nothing to do with it β comments like "women don't have posters of old men on their bedroom walls"
- Pea: "That sounds like a profound observation but it just doesn't apply here, because for us attraction isn't just about looks, and a man's looks don't fade the way a woman's do anyway"
- Personally, Pea says she'd be far more attracted to an older, more mature partner β and she's not the only Filipina who feels this way
Addressing the "it's all about money" accusation: β
- When people can't accept genuine attraction, they default to "it must be about money"
- Comments like "Filipinas just want older guys so they'll die faster and leave them all their stuff"
- Pea's counter-example: John and Jessa β married 14 years, she fusses over him, holds his hand, rubs his back; he has no assets to tempt her; she makes more money than him; she could leave in two seconds but hasn't
- "I'll bet you my last paycheck that she won't"
When it IS about money β economic coercion: β
- Sometimes a woman's poverty allows a man to use wealth to essentially buy a partner, usually by supporting her family
- Critics assume the woman must be against her will, "handed over to some disgusting old pig with sexual perversions" out of misguided family loyalty
- Pea says that's making an awful lot of assumptions
- She's been around mixed couples for years and has "never seen a situation where I thought a woman wasn't glad to be where she was"
- She acknowledges it does happen β she even made a video about economic coercion in Samar and called it "a curse, horrible and tragic"
- But that's the exception, not the rule; the majority of age-gap relationships have genuine love and respect
"What could they possibly have in common?": β
- Older Filipinas aren't necessarily more compatible with a foreigner just because they're closer in age
- Older Filipinas often speak worse English than the younger generation
- Despite being older, they can be more naive about the world
- Life in the Philippines, especially in the provinces, can be deeply repetitive β people wake up, do the same chores, talk to the same people, think the same thoughts day after day, year after year
- "Sometimes we don't change very much just because the years pass"
- "When you say 'what could I possibly talk about with a 25-year-old,' sometimes it's the same conversation you'd have with a 50-year-old woman β except with better English"
The two legitimate concerns Pea acknowledges: β
- The Filipina will probably end up a widow
- If they have children, an older man might not live to see them graduate high school
- But as long as the couple discusses and plans for these realities, "who are we to say it's not worth it?"
The unanswerable line-drawing problem: β
- Where exactly does an age gap "cross the line"?
- If you say 10 years is okay, what about 11? If you say 30 is the limit, what about 31?
- Would you have the same objection if it were an older woman with a younger man?
Pea's bottom line: β
- Maybe this discussion didn't change anyone's mind, but she hopes it got people thinking
- Her only advice: consider the compatibility of the individuals and the quality of the relationship, not just how many birthdays they've seen