9 YEARS IN THE PHILIPPINES - A Foreigner's Perspective on Living The Life!

Pea delivers a full-length encore interview with Paul Jensen, a retired US Postal Service worker from Wisconsin who has lived in the Philippines for about nine or ten years. Paul is a seasoned world traveler and unapologetically direct about what he wants (a life partner, not a wife), what he pays (10,000 pesos/month allowance for a live-in girlfriend), and why he prefers meeting women at the market instead of online. The interview covers food, dating strategy, regional differences across the islands, and Paul's unconventional but carefully thought-out approach to relationships.

Paul's background ​

• From Wisconsin, retired from the US Postal Service
• Extensive world travel: China five times, Vietnam, Cambodia, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, all 50 US states, Mexico — everywhere except South America
• Been living in the Philippines about 9–10 years

Why he chose the Philippines over other Southeast Asian countries ​

• He visited multiple countries and liked the Philippines best
• Acknowledges Thailand has better infrastructure and excellent food, and he lived there for over a year
• But Thailand's English proficiency is lower, and he just personally prefers the Philippines
• The weather, the people, and the purchasing power of his money all factor in
• In 9 years: never been robbed, never been accosted, never had arguments with Filipinos — only minor motorcycle bumps

His take on Filipino food ​

• Main protein is pork; beef is available but the cows are old when slaughtered, so the meat is tough
• Fruits and vegetables are excellent — everything is fresh, often from that day or the day before
• You can eat extremely healthy: fish straight from the ocean, steamed vegetables — "you don't have to fry it in oil"
• Or you can eat whatever you want — hamburgers, fries, pizza are all available
• He personally loves traditional foods: dark chocolate, putaya, peanut butter pandesal

His philosophy on Filipino women and the "hand and foot" service dynamic ​

• Filipino women want to prove they're "wife material" — they cook, clean, do dishes, hover
• Paul explicitly doesn't want that: "I like to be 50/50 — help with dinner, help clean the house"
• He thinks most foreigners who come for hand-and-foot service are "giving up a big part of their life where they can be doing something instead of doing nothing"
• He acknowledges this is the "missing ingredient" Western men feel they've lost at home, since Western women now work full-time and the old domestic wife model has changed
• What he actually wants: a girl who'd go on a sailboat, travel the world, be casual about it — no marriage required, no need to be together all the time

How he meets women: the market strategy ​

• Used to use online dating but stopped — "you really don't know what you're getting"
• Now he goes to the local market where women are selling — they notice the foreigner, enjoy seeing him eat local food like putaya and satti
• His approach: compliment them ("nice hands"), be a comedian first to make them laugh, put on "a little bit of a show, Mr. Suave"
• He believes humor is "the new sexy" — if you can make someone laugh, especially a woman, "that's the best thing in the world"
• He says sex is actually the last thing he looks for, and if it's good, "that's just a plus"

His specific dating preferences and approach ​

• Preferred age range: 35–45
• Rationale: older women know more about life, have probably already had kids and been married, know how to deal with a man
• He tells women upfront: "I do not want to get married" — and they still hang on because "women think they can change a guy"
• His firm stance: "You don't want to try to change somebody. When you go with somebody, you got to like them for the way they are now, because they're not going to change"

Online dating experiences before switching to in-person ​

• The woman always showed up — maybe late on "Filipino time" — but she was there
• "Sometimes they're hiding behind a tree, but they're there"
• Many women want to bring a chaperone; Paul is fine with it — "bring a girl if you want to, or bring your mother, I don't care"

His financial arrangement with girlfriends ​

• If a girl stays with him, he pays for everything: food, housing, motorcycle rides home
• A girl who stays full-time gets an allowance of 10,000 pesos per month
• His logic: if she has to quit her job to stay with him, he wants to pay at least more than what she was making — many Filipino women earn only 1,500–4,000 pesos
• 10,000 pesos is "a ransom" for many of these women; the family is happy because they can buy phone load, fish, food
• His broader philosophy: "everything that you get in life, you will pay for" — she's giving massages, cooking dinner, so give her a break
• He didn't understand this when he was young but figured it out after marriage and divorce

How women react to "I don't want to get married" ​

• Some are fine with it, especially if they've been married before or are already married (and can't get divorced in the Philippines anyway)
• He actually sees it as lucky when the girl is already married — "that's one worry out the door"
• But he warns about the danger: Philippine law allows a Filipino man (or American) caught with another man's wife to face serious legal consequences — potentially lethal
• His rule: "you don't go with girls that got a husband that's hanging around"

Why there's a surplus of available women in the Philippines ​

• A lot of Filipino men are gay — Paul acknowledges this is a sensitive topic but says it's his observation
• Many remaining local men aren't great partners: they drink too much, smoke, aren't reliable
• That creates a large pool of single women who would love a decent foreign partner with a pension who doesn't drink or smoke

The dating timeline question ​

• Paul recommends dating at least 2–3 months before moving in together
• Reality: "they want to move in after the first week — I've had girls want to move in after the first day"
• If she wants you to meet her mother and father early, she's serious about keeping you — and "you are in trouble because that girl wants to keep you"
• He believes the girls are genuinely good: "they feel happy that they can get a foreigner, and if he's a good guy, they're lucky and they stay together"

Advice for men coming to the Philippines ​

• Don't fall in love with the first Filipina you meet — "you will" find another one, possibly a better one
• Come for a long time, meet the girl, meet her family; if she's not right, find another
• The "good girls" are the ones who fit like a glove — they're the real marriage material
• "You can be very choosy here"

His dual-island lifestyle: Mindanao and Negros ​

• Splits time: two weeks in Mindanao, two weeks in Negros (Dumaguete area)
• Each location: an apartment for 5,000 pesos ($100), a motorcycle, a flat-screen TV
• Total cost: $200/month for two apartments, two motorcycles, two TVs across two islands
• "And two girls if I want — but I only have one. Smart. Don't do that."

Regional observations ​

• Mindanao: despite the reputation from the Sulu region's past security issues, he's traveled all over north and south Mindanao, even to Zamboanga, and taken the ferry to Sandakan, Malaysia twice — never had a problem
• Key rule: travel during the day, follow safety protocols
• Education levels vary: Dumaguete and the Visayas have higher education; Mindanao's mountain farming communities are lower
• Mindanao people are more reserved, quieter, "more afraid of you than anything" — especially kids who've never seen a foreigner

Problems with local guys over dating Filipinas ​

• Zero problems — Filipino men are actually "happy to see you go with a girl"
• His interpretation: they feel sorry for the women who aren't getting enough attention, so they welcome foreigners stepping in

Budget recommendation for foreigners ​

• Minimum $1,000/month for a single retired guy
• A younger guy visiting should bring a couple thousand per month
• Working in the Philippines isn't realistic — the job market is poor
• Older retired guys with income "have it made" compared to younger men who still need to go back and work

His long-term plan ​

• Find a permanent life partner (not a wife) — someone who wants to do the same things he does
• Stay in the Philippines, potentially get a house in America to visit his kids
• Bring the girlfriend to the US on a tourist visa for up to 6 months to see what it's like
• He specifically doesn't want legal marriage: "it keeps you together even if you shouldn't be together"
• His advice: "be together because you want to be together — you don't need a paper"
• "Don't invite the government into your relationship"
• Communication is the single most important thing: "even if you don't want to talk this morning, later on you talk"

Paul on the Filipino foot and nose situation (his humor moment) ​

• Filipino girls have "funny looking feet" — cute but different
• The "jeepney nose" joke: "all the girls got the jeepy nose because when they were on the jeep it stopped real fast"
• He actually prefers the flat nose — "your noses are cute"

What his friends and family thought about his move ​

• Many assumed he was going for underage girls — "pedophile type stuff" — which he resents
• Others were jealous or didn't want to lose a friend
• Some tried to guilt him into coming back
• They have no idea how beautiful the Philippines actually is

📺 Watch the full video on YouTube

🔔 Subscribe to The Filipina Pea