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2023-03-03 Β |Β β±οΈ 20:41 Β |Β ποΈ 196.4K views Β |Β π 10.8K likes Β |Β π¬ 1.7K comments
Pea interviews two sisters, Leia (22, turning 23) and Ella Grace (29), both in relationships with American men, about their experiences dating and marrying foreigners. The conversation covers how they met, what attracted them, family judgment, the "gold digger" accusation, age gap dynamics, bedroom fears, and practical advice for foreign men approaching Filipinas. The sisters are candid, funny, and unapologetic.
Meet the sisters: Leia and Ella Grace β
- They are siblings β Leia is #7 and Ella Grace is #5 out of 10 children ("our parents are very busy")
- Both are in relationships with American men
- Leia has been married to Gary for almost 3 years, together for 5 years total; they have a 3-year-old daughter
- Ella Grace is with her boyfriend (age 43, turning 44), not yet married; she was previously married to a Filipino man and has started the annulment process; she is pregnant ("something in the oven")
How Leia met her husband Gary β a 39-year age gap β
- Met online through a dating app when she was 18 (had just turned 18); Gary was 57
- The app had a location tracker showing how close someone was β Gary was in Malate, Manila on business (he has a business in China)
- Leia saw his profile, added him, and he messaged first
- She was physically attracted to him β "he looks good"
- She never expected to end up with a foreigner β "based on my English, I never thought I could pull a 57"
- Pea jokes about the age gap; Leia confirms "everyone's legal" and there's mutual consent
How Ella Grace met her boyfriend β through Leia's YouTube channel β
- Ella Grace was interviewed on Leia's channel; a foreign viewer found her attractive, looked her up on Facebook, and messaged her
- They chatted for 3 months before meeting in person
- First impression in person: he was more handsome than on video calls β "the face in person is very different... more handsome in person"
- She describes him as very sweet, treating her like a queen
- This is her first foreign boyfriend
The bedroom concern Filipinas actually have about foreign men β
- Pea asks about the "banana" fear β the physical size concern that many Filipinas reportedly worry about
- Leia confirms this was her biggest fear: "I don't have a lot of experience with guys, I only have one boyfriend, so that was my biggest fear"
- Ella Grace's reaction was the opposite: "I'm not scared β I am more excited"
Dealing with the "it's all about the money" accusation β
- Both sisters say they've heard it from relatives and people around them
- Leia attributes it to jealousy: "there are some that would say that... I think it is because of the jealousy"
- Their counterargument: it's a "win-win" β the husband benefits from having a caring Filipino wife, and the Filipina benefits too; there's also physical attraction and love involved
- When they go shopping, they do get stares β people looking them up and down, some even taking photos
- The intensity of judgment varies by location: in Dumaguete (lots of foreign-Filipino couples) it's more normal; in smaller provinces it's more noticeable
Pushback on the "stealing their men" and "leftovers" insults β
- Leia is defiant: "The men come here β we don't go there and steal them. They come here. If you're good, why are they coming here?"
- On the "leftover men" claim: "She's not sure we're just getting their leftovers because they said they're leftovers, they don't want their man, and yet they're mad that we're dating their man β so I don't know where it actually is"
- Ella Grace adds they don't see foreign men as rejects β "that's so mean"
Why they believe foreign men choose Filipinas over Western women β
- Filipinas value their men, take care of them, cook for them, and support them
- They don't "demonize" their partners
- Leia says they don't do girls' night out at clubs or bars: "I have kids, there's responsibility... that's what they do there β party with friends"
- Both view going out to clubs in skimpy clothes as disrespectful to your husband: "Why would you want other men's attention if you have your husband?"
- Ella Grace's boyfriend told her women in America are different from Filipinas
Neither sister wants to move to the United States β
- Both prefer to stay in the Philippines β Pea highlights this as evidence against the "green card" narrative
- They'd visit the U.S. but not live there
- Reasons: more expensive in the U.S., they love the Philippine weather and sunshine
- Leia and Gary live near the mountains in Bacolod with fresh air and vegetables; Gary is retired and staying for good
- Ella Grace's boyfriend (43) is also planning to stay
The age gap conversation β planning for the future β
- Pea asks about what happens when the older partner dies β acknowledging it's uncomfortable for Filipinas to discuss
- Leia says Gary is the one who brings it up; she refuses to talk about it: "As soon as he mentioned that, I said don't talk about it"
- But they do have plans in place for the future
- Leia doesn't plan to have more kids β Gary is 60 and she sees him struggling to chase their toddler around
Practical advice for foreign men from the sisters β
- Don't rush: take time to get to know your Filipina; some foreigners rush things and get scammed
- "Don't marry them right away β it takes time to find a good one"
- Don't fall for the first Filipina you meet at the airport
- Look in the provinces, not the city bars β bars attract "the wrong kind of people"
- Approach gently: just say hi, ask for her number, don't be aggressive
- Don't brag about money β "genuine Filipinas" are turned off by men talking about how much they have; you'll only attract scammers
- Be humble
Advice for Filipinas considering a foreign relationship β
- Ella Grace: "Go for it β because they're responsible, sweet, and very patient"
- Be on time β foreigners hate Filipino time
Leia's YouTube channel β
- She runs a family vlog channel about being a Filipina married to an American and living in the Philippines
- Features family adventures, daily videos, and budget breakdowns
- Their monthly household budget: about 100,000 pesos (~$2,000 USD) including 20,000 pesos (~$400) rent β comfortable living for a family
The comedic outro skit β
- Pea plays a "director" coaching the sisters to pretend to be manipulative gold diggers fishing for green cards
- The sisters keep breaking character by being genuine β they actually love their husbands, like living in the Philippines, and enjoy cooking and cleaning
- Pea gets increasingly exasperated: "Why do I even bother? You don't even seem concerned about the evils of systemic patriarchy"
- Punchline: satirizes the Western feminist narrative by showing how absurd it sounds when applied to these specific, real women