Filipina Pea TV β€” Your Guide to the Philippines, Relationships, and Travel
← Back to Home

ARE FILIPINA WIVES REALLY MORE SUBMISSIVE? Let's Ask The Locals!

πŸ“… 2023-03-14⏱ 23:02
πŸ“… 2023-03-14 Β |Β  ⏱️ 23:02 Β |Β  πŸ‘οΈ 96.7K views Β |Β  πŸ‘ 7.4K likes Β |Β  πŸ’¬ 1.8K comments

Pea takes the loaded question of whether Filipinas are submissive and puts it directly to people on the street in Dumaguete, interviewing multiple Filipino women and one Western man. Rather than just stating her own opinion, she builds the video around their unfiltered responses, which range from emphatic rejection to nuanced acceptance to Bible-based agreement. Pea closes with her own carefully worded personal take.

Framing the question ​

  • Pea acknowledges "submissive" is a loaded word that conjures different images β€” from a hopelessly passive kitchen-bound woman who's "always pregnant" to something more like a supportive partner who lets the man lead on big decisions
  • Identifies three possible reasons a woman might appear submissive: lack of confidence, economic pressure to keep a husband happy, or a controlling man who targeted someone he could bend to his will
  • Notes another interpretation: "submissive" just means supportive, letting the man lead on big decisions while retaining autonomy
  • Raises the Biblical angle: Genesis says "your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you"; another passage says a wife should submit as the husband submits to the Lord β€” she notes these read differently depending on interpretation
  • Filipino cultural context: the culture emphasizes avoiding conflict and solving problems without friction, which creates a reputation for agreeableness β€” but is that the same as submission?

Street interview: Mika (first) ​

  • Would not let her husband make all the big decisions β€” wants 50/50
  • To avoid confrontation, she'd give in sometimes, but it's about avoiding conflict, not about submission

Street interview: Kuya (young man) ​

  • Thinks the man should be the leader, especially on decisions like where to live
  • Would prefer the man to have final say on big expenses
  • Defines submissiveness as "being able to accept decisions" β€” essentially being agreeable
  • Doesn't see a big difference between submissive and agreeable
  • Thinks the negative perception of submissiveness has to do with "taking away the other person's freedom" but says it doesn't have to be like that
  • Says disagreements should be talked out through open dialogue
  • On the Bible passage: thinks it's "reasonable generally" but acknowledges modern women are more able to decide for themselves, making the passage harder to accept
  • Estimates about 60% of Filipinas are submissive
  • Thinks Westerners prefer Filipinas because they're "less influenced by the new thinking" β€” more traditional

Street interview: Miguel (young woman) ​

  • Emphatically would NOT let her husband make all big decisions alone β€” "if we're going to be living together, every big decision should involve both of us; more brains thinking is better"
  • Strongly against corporal punishment for children β€” would tell her husband directly that spanking is wrong, especially since men have more physical strength; says it's traumatizing
  • Does not think a man should be the default leader β€” "it's something we should both be doing because it's our relationship"
  • Defines submissiveness as giving up everything you want just because your partner says so, because you don't want them to think badly of you
  • Distinguishes submissive from agreeable: submissive = putting yourself down for the other person; agreeable = occasionally deferring but still being yourself
  • "Filipinos are definitely NOT submissive β€” we can be anything but not that"
  • Acknowledges Filipinos are stubborn and "bullheaded"
  • Says a submissive marriage can't be happy long-term because suppressed urges "pile up and might explode one day"
  • Thinks Westerners prefer Filipinas because they're easy to get along with but also know when to "hold the fort" β€” agreeable but with limits

Street interview: woman who differentiates submissive from pushover ​

  • Describes herself as someone who'd let her boyfriend lead because she doesn't see herself as a leader type
  • But still wants to be heard in decision-making
  • Draws a distinction: a pushover lets people step over boundaries even when she's not okay with it; a submissive person lets herself be heard but ultimately yields when they can't agree

Street interview: Mika (second β€” different Mika) ​

  • Wouldn't want her partner to take over everything β€” wants him to approach her first on big decisions
  • Wants a peaceful household with no shouting or fighting
  • Defines submissiveness as being able to "put your guard down" and let him handle things he's knowledgeable about, while she supports
  • Thinks people see submissiveness as negative because it implies weakness β€” "you don't have a say in everything"
  • But argues it can be a strength β€” complementing each other's roles
  • Suggests a "relationship agreement" to divide responsibilities clearly
  • For arguments: wants both parties to take space first before resolving
  • Admits she used to "do the temple thing" (silent treatment/sulking) but learned from it
  • Acknowledges some Filipinas ARE submissive, especially with Western partners β€” she's seen strong-minded women suddenly become submissive and wonders "what happened to being a strong-headed woman"
  • But understands they may have their own reasons (possibly financial)
  • When asked the Elon Musk hypothetical (would you submit to a filthy-rich man who just wants agreement?): says in her current financial situation, she'd take it; if financially stable, she wouldn't

Street interview: Religious woman ​

  • Would let her husband make big decisions, especially financial ones β€” says women can be impulsive buyers
  • Agrees with the Biblical framing of wives submitting to husbands
  • Identifies as religious and would follow the Bible

Street interview: Paul (Scottish man in Dumaguete) ​

  • In Dumaguete looking for a wife or girlfriend
  • Has tried Vietnam, Thailand, and Mexico but finds the Philippines special β€” warm/friendly people, great climate, good economy for a foreigner with a small pension
  • Not looking for a submissive wife β€” looking for someone "in the middle" with give-and-take balance
  • Wouldn't want a woman who does everything he says: "it's not right"
  • Acknowledges the Philippines is more traditional/domesticated but says he does his own cleaning and dishes too
  • On settling arguments: compromise as much as you can, sacrifice some things to gain others
  • His observation on Filipino "shyness": thinks there's a cultural indoctrination where every girl is told to be shy, but "in reality they've all got that inner Superwoman ready to come out" β€” once they get education and opportunity, they become that woman

Pea's personal take (closing) ​

  • Does not see herself blindly accepting whatever her mate says
  • But doesn't mind yielding when he has a strong opinion, more experience, or more knowledge in a particular area β€” example: if he knows real estate and says buy instead of rent, she'd accept his judgment
  • If he explains his position logically and makes a fair point, she'll be agreeable even if she'd have decided differently
  • On issues she feels strongly enough about to "die on that hill," she trusts her partner will take her opinion into serious consideration
  • Believes in equal 50/50 give-and-take, but that doesn't mean making half the decisions β€” she's happy to let someone she trusts implicitly "take the wheel" as long as she can "sit next to you and help you navigate"
  • Predicts the comments will have Bible-quoters in favor of submission, people who "want to vomit" at the concept, and moderates β€” looks forward to all of them
  • Ultimately says the answer to whether Filipinas are submissive depends on who you listen to β€” compare what men who married Filipinas say with what Filipinas themselves say, and decide for yourself

πŸ“Ί Watch the full video on YouTube

πŸ”” Subscribe to The Filipina Pea