Pea Takes a Tesla For A Spin - The Amazing Self-Driving Model Y

A long-time Patron named Jaime brings his 2022 Tesla Model Y for Pea to test drive and explore. She goes from comically struggling with the keyless entry to flooring it on the highway, experiencing full self-driving mode, discovering the fart horn, and getting a full walkthrough of charging, storage, maintenance, and the economics of EV ownership — all while comparing costs to what a Tesla would run you in the Philippines.

• Setup: Pea admires Western technological innovation and has been dying to drive a Tesla — Jaime, a two-year Patron, brings his Model Y for her to check out

Basic specs and charging ​

• 2022 Tesla Model Y — the SUV version, slightly taller than the Model 3 with longer range
• Currently charged to 303 miles of range
• Regenerative braking: when you lift off the gas, the motor slows the car and recharges the battery — won't exceed the starting charge but helps maintain it
• Supercharger fills from empty to full in about 30-40 minutes
• Charging at home on the grid would cost about $12 for a full charge — versus Jaime's F-150 which costs $100 just to get three-quarters full

The keyless entry comedy ​

• There's a card key — Pea tries "Abracadabra, open sesame, swish and flick, Alohomora" before figuring out how it works
• Hears a click and thinks she did it — turns out it was other people getting out of their car nearby

Interior first impressions ​

• Complete minimalism: no dials, no buttons, just a large center monitor
• No keys needed to start — place the card, put foot on brake, and go
• Steering wheel adjusts in and out, left, right, up and down from the control panel
• Glass roof that blocks 99% of UV — addresses the concern about getting darker or skin cancer
• Jaime mentions he's a storm spotter and observes thunderstorms from inside the car

The fart horn ​

• Before Jaime arrived, Pea was playing with settings and changed the horn to make fart noises
• The car can also play La Cucaracha as a horn — Jaime demonstrates and Pea is delighted: "It's literally going to replace the horn"

Driving experience ​

• Pea's first impression: "Oh, that is smooth"
• She jokes "watch out, there's an Asian lady driving"
• Self-driving mode (auto-steer): double-tap down on the drive selector to engage
• The car senses surrounding vehicles and pedestrians — shows them on the display in real time, including speed signs and pylons
• Pea's reaction to seeing pedestrians detected: "This is sorcery, Jaime. What is this car?"
• The car handles corners on its own — "it's doing its own thing"
• Pea's trust issues: "That makes me nervous... I have trust issues"
• Jaime emphasizes keeping hands on the wheel and foot ready on the brake — full self-driving is still in beta
• The car periodically tests to make sure the driver is paying attention

Speed test ​

• Jaime tells her to punch the gas full — she hits 70-80 mph almost instantly
• "Whoa, that is fast. Very responsive"
• 0-60 in six seconds for this model; the Model S does it in just over three seconds
• Jaime has had Uber drivers in Teslas show him "ludicrous mode" — "it just plants you"

Technical details (Jaime explains) ​

• Dual motor: two electric motors, one front and one back, directly tied to wheels
• Braking is primarily done by the motors, not traditional brake pads — reduces wear, pollution, and maintenance
• Very few moving parts: solid state battery, wheels, brakes, motor magnets — not much to break
• Repairs are a con: you have to make appointments and wait in line, but breakdowns are rare
• Most maintenance is done via over-the-air software updates — Tesla "recalls" are often just a 12-minute update done over Wi-Fi at home, unlike traditional cars that require shop visits
• Navigation is fully onboard — cameras only, no Wi-Fi needed for real-time driving; the car has downloaded street data and gets traffic/construction updates
• Tesla's Dojo supercomputer and general AI power the car's processing and will eventually power Tesla Bots

Pea's running jokes throughout the drive ​

• When learning navigation: "If I put in the Mexican border, so I can steal this car — I'm taking this car and you too as hostage"
• Asks if she can change the navigation voice to "a drunk pirate" or "a drunk Irish pirate"
• When the car won't let her out at the end: "Where are the buttons? Let me out! You fell into my evil plan!"

Pricing ​

• Model 3: about $40,000 new; Model Y: about $47-48,000 new with dual motor
• $7,500 in incentives available
• Used Teslas aren't much cheaper due to high demand
• Pea checked online: importing a Tesla to the Philippines costs about $150,000 — "that's a lot"

Jaime's pros of Tesla ownership ​

• Low maintenance, reliability, things don't break down
• Fuel cost savings (especially vs. his F-150)
• Safety features and full self-driving capability (available as an add-on purchase or subscription)

Supercharger station tour ​

• Jaime shows how charging works — just plug in and wait for the light to turn from blue to green
• Superchargers are being installed across the country — pre-fabricated, trucked in, and set down with power added
• Pea: "It's like a regular pump except this is like a vacuum cleaner"

Exterior tour via the Tesla app ​

• Everything controlled through the phone app — Pea asks what happens if you can't afford a phone but can afford a Tesla ("that would be really weird")
• Backup button under the car if phone is lost/stolen
• Massive trunk space with additional storage underneath
• "Frunk" (front trunk) where the engine would normally be — since there's no engine, Tesla put a trunk there
• Five-seater standard with optional additional back seat
• Jaime pre-cooled the car from his living room that morning using the app: vented the windows, turned on AC, and the car was at 66 degrees when he got in despite Florida humidity
• Pea asks about Elon Musk and whether anyone could steal the technology — Jaime says Elon has made it open source, but you'd still need Tesla's supercomputers and billions of dollars, so "it's kind of hard to steal"
• At the end, Pea confirms she survived the test drive and Jaime lets her drive him to his drop-off point

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