10 Visits And Still No Filipina! Could This Happen To You?

Pea interviews Dave, a 55-year-old retired Marriott employee from Boston who has visited the Philippines more than 10 times since 2005 and still hasn't found the right Filipina. The conversation is a revealing portrait of a likeable but self-contradictory man whose high standards, introversion, and admitted inability to approach women keep him stuck in an indefinite search — and Pea doesn't let his contradictions slide.

Dave's background and why he keeps coming back ​

• 55 years old, retired after 30 years with Marriott, from Boston
• First visited Cebu in 2005 to meet a girl he'd connected with online — she turned out to be pregnant with a Filipino boyfriend's baby. "I learned everything the hard way"
• Has been back 10+ times since, travels between the US, Italy, Thailand, and the Philippines
• Fully retired, wants to settle in the Philippines eventually but is "waiting to meet somebody"
• Openly admits he's here because of the women: "Every guy that I know that comes to the Philippines wants to meet a Filipina — who can blame them?"
• Loves that Filipinas are "very feminine" compared to what he sees as masculine women in the US
• Says he's been "beaten down by the feminism back home"

What Dave says he wants — and the contradictions Pea catches ​

• Deal-breaker #1: No children — doesn't want to raise someone else's kids (Pea says she'd feel the same way if she were a guy)
• Deal-breaker #2: Someone "independent" with a job and career, but also "balanced" — Pea immediately flags this: "Filipino Filipinas, do we know how to balance?" and suggests this might be exactly why he hasn't found anyone
• Deal-breaker #3: Good sense of humor, some education, good balance of family and career
• He also wants her age range 23-35 (he's 55)
• He wants someone with a part-time job so she has time for him — "not giving all her time to her boss"
• On family: "very important" — but also preferably single, no children. Pea jokes: "basically an orphan" — Dave laughs and admits "I've been looking for that"
• Pea points out that a single Filipina with no kids, a job, education, humor, and independence is going to be "in demand" — she's not just sitting around waiting

His introversion is a real obstacle ​

• Dave describes himself as "very introverted" and says he never approaches women — won't walk up and say hello
• He doesn't go out at night
• People tell him to go to IT Park or Ayala to meet women — he says he hasn't met a single girl there
• Yet he tells Pea he recognized her walking by and approached her — she calls this out: "You don't approach anybody but you're willing to talk to a stranger?" He says she's "different" because he knew who she was
• His plan is to try going to bars near IT Park (the Pyramid/Liv area) — Pea tells him bluntly: "You don't meet good girls there"
• When she suggests church as the place to find good women, Dave says he's agnostic — creating another dead end in his search strategy

Dave's honest assessment of the foreign expat community ​

• He's blunt: "90% of them I don't want to even be associated with"
• Many are "broken down" — divorced, kids back home, beaten down by Western culture
• Describes the typical foreigner conversations as "low class": comparing sexual exploits, talking about "how many days" and "what she's like"
• "A lot of alcoholics" — people with problems they brought with them to the Philippines
• Many haven't planned for retirement or lost everything to a bad relationship
• His key insight: "The people that would screw you here in the Philippines are not Filipinos" — Pea strongly agrees: "That is so true"

Dave's past relationship and naivety about Filipino culture ​

• Had a Filipina girlfriend at some point who treated him well — invited him to birthday parties, family events, made him a godfather multiple times
• Pea identifies this immediately as "the husband experience without marrying the girl" — and that being made a godfather repeatedly means financial obligations
• She tells him he's been taken advantage of without even knowing it: "You didn't even know you've been taken advantage of and you think that was so nice of them to invite you — but you have to pay for everything"
• Dave downplays it as "small stuff" that wasn't breaking the bank
• Pea advises him to delete old relationship photos/memories from his phone before getting into a new relationship because "Filipinas are kind of like the FBI" when it comes to checking phones

Cultural and political tangents ​

• Discussion about the Secret Service's failure to protect Trump — Dave blames DEI policies, argues a 5-foot-tall woman can't protect a 6'3" president, criticizes the Secret Service director for wanting 30% women
• Pea agrees and says if they want equality, put 30% women "laying the bricks and working in the sewers and on the front line"
• Dave's observation on Cebu: more light-skinned women than he expected, but he prefers morena (brown-skinned) Filipinas
• Both note Filipinas look very young for their age — Dave jokes Pea looks "22-23," she says she's mid-30s

Dave's final advice ​

• Simple: "Just do it — book a flight and come. It's cheap to fly here, round trip for about $1,200"
• Despite everything — the pregnant first girlfriend, 10+ visits without finding the one, mistakes along the way — coming to the Philippines "has enhanced my life quite a bit"
• "I made so many mistakes, but I still love it here — that is what life is all about, learning"

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