Why Do Men Go To The Philippines - Is It All About The Women?

Pea hits the streets of Dumaguete to ask foreign men directly why they came to the Philippines, whether it's really all about the women, and what surprised them most. She interviews a total of 11 men, featuring extended conversations with six of them — a medically retired veteran from Oklahoma, a 30-year Philippines veteran, a first-timer from Colorado, a budget retiree from Chicago, and a Bostonian visiting his Filipina girlfriend. The answers range from brutally honest to diplomatic, but the women keep coming up.

Adalo Mendoza — retired veteran from Tulsa, Oklahoma, recently moved to Dumaguete ​

• Medically retired from military service in November; the Philippines is now his permanent home
• Origin story: A friend had a Filipina who treated him well, which sparked Adalo's interest; then he found Pea's videos and "watched too many — all of them"
• Admits he "did everything you told me not to do" — got into a relationship that he ended two weeks before the interview, after knowing he should have ended it sooner
• Already house-hunting (looked at two properties), plans to keep looking
• End goal: just relax, avoid stress, take it one step at a time
• Biggest surprise: The age gaps in relationships — shocking but also encouraging as a 41-year-old who initially expected to date someone his own age; seeing 20-30 year age gaps among other foreigners broadened his perspective
• His dating philosophy: compatibility matters more than age — "how do you perceive life and are your interests the same as mine"
• Key comparison between Filipinas and Western women: Caring. In the U.S., a woman will spend your money but never on herself — "anything about life has to do with money." In the Philippines, "you could have no money and meet any woman and she'll treat you the same regardless." Back home, you need status or money to get that treatment.
• Self-perception transformation: Rates himself a "two or three" back home in attractiveness; in the Philippines, women call him "guapo" and grab him — "I've never had anybody grab me so much in my life." It made him feel giddy and better about himself.
• "There's no reason to not come here, that's for sure"
• Culture reminds him of Mexico (where his family is from) — tight-knit community where gossip travels fast, family-oriented, "you can say one little thing and everyone's going to know"

Roger — 30-year Philippines veteran, been coming since the 1990s ​

• Blunt answer on why men come: "There's only one reason all us guys come here — the girls are gorgeous." Beaches, cost of living, and nice things are attractive too, "but there's one reason men come here — it's because of the women."
• Pre-COVID vs. post-COVID shift: Before COVID, everyone came for "sweet, nice, innocent, good, faithful women" — and that still exists. But after COVID, so many foreigners flooded in that the young girls caught on to what foreigners want. Now it's a "win-win situation" but the dynamic has changed — "the girls now are different, they were looking for money"
• Personal experience: Was with a woman before COVID, another after COVID; the post-COVID girlfriend wanted to move in with her daughter, and the shift from independent living to suddenly having a girlfriend and her family in his space was too much
• Now happily single: prefers seeing women on his own schedule and values his privacy — "not looking for the one anymore"

Conrad — 37-year-old from Colorado, 37 minutes into his Dumaguete visit ​

• Second trip to the Philippines — a buddy convinced him to visit Siargao last year for two weeks; liked it so much he came back for two months
• Main draws: warm weather, cheaper cost of living ("I can do everything over here and it's cheaper than being at home and doing nothing"), English proficiency
• Biggest surprise first time: How many Filipinos speak English, but also how many different Filipino dialects exist
• Not yet dating a Filipina but open to it
• Feels 100% safe
• On Manila: "Get out of there as quick as possible" — but the islands have been entirely positive
• Hardest adjustment: humidity, coming from a very dry climate — "walking down the street and just sweating all day"

Richard — retiree from Chicago, 2.5 months in Dumaguete ​

• Prior Philippines experience: was stationed at Angeles (near the former Air Force base) during military service in Korea, so the culture is familiar — no culture shock
• Came looking for peace — and found it: "Peace. I love that," Pea responds
• Never been married, no kids, not actively looking for a wife but "not opposed to the idea either"
• Would not take a Filipina wife back to America: "I wouldn't want her to become Americanized — I fear that she would become Americanized and that would just be a problem"
• Age gap relationships surprised him, though he'd seen it during his military days
• On a budget but spending even less than budgeted — saving money just by being in the Philippines
• Feels completely safe walking around at night, walking the boulevard, getting chicken late at night
• Expat community in Dumaguete is close-knit and easy to join
• His advice: "Get out the United States and see what the rest of the world has to offer — you can find peace here"

Randy — from Boston, visiting his Filipina girlfriend Effie ​

• Came specifically to meet his girlfriend, but also for the culture, food, and escaping Boston snow
• They traveled to Dumaguete specifically to meet Pea in person
• Not sure about retirement in the Philippines yet — "too soon, I need to go make some more money first"
• Lady boy surprise: A taxi driver took him to Mangla Avenue, where he was approached by several ladyboys — couldn't tell with some of them because they looked very feminine; a bar owner pulled him aside to explain the situation; he told his girlfriend about it
• On the difference between Filipinas and Western women: "They're nicer, they do more for you — they automatically clean, they're helpers." Pea jokes that Western women have vacuum cleaners and dishwashers so maybe that's why, and Randy fires back: "No, they just don't — they expect you to do it."
• Came from a bad long-term relationship; considers the Filipina girlfriend "definitely" an upgrade

Pea's verdict from all 11 interviews ​

• All but two of the 11 men listed Filipinas as one of their reasons for being in the Philippines
• The Philippines is confirmed as: friendly, inexpensive, safe, and a great place to look for a mate
• The two non-woman reasons that consistently come up: cost of living/weather and the feeling of peace/escape from Western stress

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