10 More Things You Never Say To A Filipina - We Hate These!

Following the popularity of her previous installment, Pea delivers ten more phrases and behaviors that will get a foreigner in serious trouble with his Filipina partner. The list ranges from the absurd (sleep-talking) to the deeply cultural (sarcasm being completely lost on Filipinas), with Pea's signature mix of blunt honesty, self-deprecating humor, and genuine cultural explanation.

Don't say anything while sleeping ​

• Filipinas assign the worst possible meaning to any sound you make in your sleep: passing gas means her cooking upsets your stomach, laughing means you're flirting with someone, moaning in pain gets interpreted as moans of pleasure, and crying out for your mom means you're having an affair with her mother
• Never admit to having an erotic dream about anyone but your Filipina — she'll treat it as real-life cheating
• The cultural root: "We believe your dream state is some kind of truth portal to your actual feelings. So if something happens in your dreams, it's what you want to happen in real life"
• It goes both ways — you might get slapped awake because SHE had a dream about YOU cheating, and now you're guilty of what happened in her head
• Her advice: "Exercise your right to remain silent because anything you say will be used against you in Filipino court"

Never say "It's okay that you don't have any boobs" ​

• No matter how you phrase it — "don't worry about being flat-chested," "boobs aren't everything," "I still love you even without boobs" — it sounds like you're consoling someone about a birth defect
• Filipinas know the average guy likes larger breasts, and they feel embarrassed by what Pea calls "the tiny little mosquito bites that we come equipped with"
• Even men who genuinely prefer smaller breasts won't be believed: "the problem is we never believe that you're one of them"
• Pea uses herself as an example: "I'm a 32A, which means I have virtually no boobs at all" — then does a bikini segment, openly acknowledging it's for clicks: "Of course that's what I'm doing. Like I said, I'm flat, not stupid"

Never ask her to clean out the refrigerator ​

• The issue isn't laziness or patriarchal vibes — it's that you're asking her to throw away food, which is against every fiber of a Filipina's being
• Describes the typical Filipina fridge: "a scene from The Walking Dead with chunks of mystery meat wrapped in foil and pots and pans filled with last month's leftovers stacked on top of each other"
• The root cause: "We come from a country where food is scarce" — asking her to dump food is like asking you to throw away spare change
• She'd "rather gouge out her own eyeballs than throw away a single morsel of food that might be eaten at some point in the distant future"

Never suggest using a condom ​

• Four reasons Filipinas resist condoms:
  1. They don't feel as good — and Pea clarifies it's not just the guys who notice: "We can tell the difference, too, and it's not as satisfying"
  2. Feels like rejection — "almost like a man is calling us dirty," as if he needs protection from her specifically
  3. Religious guilt — birth control is taught as a sin, though Pea points out the hypocrisy: "in order to commit the sin of using protection, you have to commit an even bigger sin. But somehow we don't worry about that one because it feels good. Just another example of selective piety"
  4. Many Filipinas secretly hope to get pregnant — not actively trying, but "won't be sorry if it happens" because having his child might make him stay
• Condoms aren't widely stocked in stores, and buying them gets you judged: "people look at you like a sex fiend when you ask for them, which is kind of embarrassing since we don't want people to know that we actually are sex fiends"
• Pea personally advocates for safe birth control despite this cultural resistance

Never say "Your sister is beautiful" ​

• Even a sincere, harmless compliment will cause major friction — she'll try to keep you and the sister apart, accuse you of things, and even accuse the sister of leading you on
• References a previous mailbag episode about a guy who dated a Filipina, realized he was more attracted to her sister, and wanted to ask the sister out — Pea explained that once any romantic link exists between two people in Filipino culture, even briefly, the Filipina assumes that connection is permanent and she'll never believe you've moved on
• "Whether you're kidding or just trying to be nice, don't even go there. Keep your thoughts about the looks of her family members to yourself because this is a lose-lose proposition"

Never use sarcasm ​

• "Filipinos have absolutely no sense of sarcasm. We don't use it. We can't spot it."
• Every word is taken at face value — no understanding of analogies, hyperbole, or idioms
• Specific examples from real couples:
  • A man told his wife he wanted to "get his affairs in order" (meaning estate planning) — she started screaming "I knew you were having an affair!"
  • A man told his sad girlfriend "oh, you poor baby" — she got offended, thinking he was calling her poor AND calling her a baby
  • A man jokingly told his Filipina housekeeper he'd "feed her to the pigs" if she cooked smelly fish again — she took it literally and was gone by morning
• Filipino humor is more visual and slapstick; Western witty/sarcastic teasing registers as bullying: "what you call teasing is what we call bullying"

Never call her looks "exotic" ​

• In Western English, "exotic" sounds like a compliment about striking, unusual beauty
• In the Philippines, "exotic" means someone with very dark skin from a provincial mountain tribe with features that don't meet Filipino beauty standards — essentially calling her ugly and unemployable except as an indoor maid
• Pea admits it's unfair to expect foreigners to know this, and it's silly to get mad about it, "And yet, that's exactly what we do. Being reasonable was never a Filipina's strong suit"

Never call her a "mail order bride" ​

• Usually said by a friend or family member, sometimes jokingly, but it "cuts like a knife"
• Makes her feel like "some kind of product that you ordered from Amazon, like we had no say in the matter, and we just appeared on your doorstep with air holes cut into the box"
• She adds the self-aware kicker: "We're with you because we want to be, not because you bought us or because you offered the highest price — except for the times when that's exactly what happened" (followed by a dramatic gasp)

Don't say "I'll come to bed right after I watch the new Pea video" ​

• Telling your Filipina you're watching another woman's YouTube video before bed guarantees a cold reception
• Even during any subsequent intimacy, she'll accuse you of thinking about Pea instead of her
• Pea says she's heard from "literally hundreds of guys" who were forced to unsubscribe because their Filipinas gave them an ultimatum — her channel or the relationship
• Broader point: Filipinas consider watching ANY woman they think you might find attractive — on social media, TV, movies — as equivalent to cheating
• Pea's position: "I think that insane jealousy has no place in a healthy relationship. You should be able to watch my videos anytime you want. After all, I'm just standing here talking. It's not like I'm taking my top off or anything."

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